(Closed) minor vent – cousin’s engaged…again.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Don’t be jealous: Your cousin sounds like she makes impulsive, bad, decisions. Furthermore, marriage is not some kind of achievement that can be handed do someone.

You know your SO plans on marrying you & you even have a timeline in mind. The longer you wait, the more certain you can be that you’re making the right decision… a certainty your cousin will never have.

Post # 4
24 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

I was in a very similar situation. My fiancé and I had dated 1 year before he moved (from FL) to OK to finish pilot training. After I graduated college he and I discussed me moving to his next base in Kansas. I explained I wanted some sort of promise (engagement) before I made the move, but he wanted to live together prior to making the commitment. We lived together for a year, so a total of 3 years together, before he just recently popped the question. I can’t say I never discussed engagement, or that this southern belle wasn’t eager to say I Do! I will say though, that when it finally happened it was the best experience. The patience, distance, and time paid off. It will all be worth it because you will know its true love and worth the wait!

Post # 6
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t be jealous of a 2nd time bride at age 24….Your time will come. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

If this one doesn’t last… then you’re home free because no-one will probably want to go to her 3rd wedding.

Plan your wedding when it comes, you sound sensible and everyone knows that!

Post # 8
24 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

@readynwaiting58:  I completely get it! It will all come in due time, and look at it this way: atleast you have a head start on the planning!

Post # 9
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Everything in its own time is what I always say πŸ™‚

Post # 10
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I would be annoyed!

I think the people that know you both will ultimately recognize and (unfortunatley for her) take your relationship more seriously because of the history you have with your SO and the fact that you are pacing yourselves. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, geesh!

I think you’re just going to have to plan around her. And be sure to put yourself first. Let her know gently that you may not be able to participate as heavily in her second wedding (as you did in her first) because you and SO are making some plans of your own.

PP’s are right…you have NOTHING to be jealous about. Annoyed, maybe, but not jealous πŸ™‚

Post # 11
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I feel ya! I know “dont be jealous” is easier said than done. You  know what you have is good and you know you have things in line and your “stuff together” more than she does from the sounds of it. Its still hard not to be excited and wishing that it was your time when people around you take it less seriously and jump right into it like nothing. When I got married it was much the same. Darling Husband and I were together for years. Started saving for our wedding even before we were tech engaged, got engaged and then a few mos later my brother and his Girlfriend who were dating a couple months got engaged and planned there wedding 2 weeks after ours. No doubt I was excited as all get out for them, but its hard when you plan, you wait and take it so seriously and what not. Plus most people in our group of friends were already married with kids and what not and Darling Husband and I were like the “last”. Hang in there!

Post # 12
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d be careful not to judge her. Who knows? This could be the person to make her very happy. However, considering she’s not made the most mature decisions leading up to this… only time will tell if that’s the case. 

Forget about her πŸ˜‰ Seriously. She doesn’t even sound worth the jealousy. Maybe this is her attempt at a pick-me-up after her first marriage ended. Keep it cool and focus on yourself right now. 

Post # 14
141 posts
Blushing bee

They’ve been together two months, so who says they’ll even make it to June 2013? They are basically still dating (despite the engaged status), and most relationships never make it beyond the dating stage.

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