Miscarriage experiences?

posted 6 months ago in TTC
Post # 2
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

MancBee :  I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum at 9 weeks and scheduled a D&C with no symptoms other than very light spotting. The morning of the procedure, we got in the car and I suddenly felt like I was going to die.

I had extreme pain, nausea, and GI symptoms. I ended up running into the bathroom at the hospital and passing much of the contents of my uterus in there. It was searingly painful and hurt worse than labor. 

It sounds to me like your symptoms are quite normal. Terrible, and sad, but normal.



Post # 4
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

MancBee :  I miscarried just after 6 weeks. It started with cramping and light bleeding then progressed to heavy bleeding. I went in to see my obgyn the day after the bleeding became heavy. I was still pregnant but it was quite obvious I was experiencing a miscarriage. They did an ultrasound but…  It took 2 weeks for the bleeding to stop. 

Post # 5
24 posts

My experience is different because the miscarriage was discovered at my first ultrasound at 8 weeks and my body didn’t start on its own…no pain or bleeding. I had a D&C a few days later and then had terrible pain and bleeding for the next 10 days. It would last for several hours every evening and then stop, so I thought that was the end of it, until the next night. Finally the bleeding became very heavy and I went to the hospital. The pain changed from contractions with breaks in between to one constant cramp like nothing else I’ve experienced. I was screaming for drugs but all the nurses said it was normal. I knew it was not. Finally, I had the repeat D&C to remove the retained tissue and immediately felt better. This was after multiple calls to the doctor and a long night of persistence in the ER.

I am so so sorry that you’re going through this. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I think my experience was worse than most, and I definitely don’t mean to scare you. I also don’t know what it’s like to miscarry without surgery. My point is that even though you haven’t been through this before, you do know your body. If you feel that the pain is too much, go get help and be persistent.

Post # 6
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Sounds pretty normal. It’s definitely worse than a period, but I wouldn’t say its quite as bad as labour, at least for me.

Watch out for signs of infection (bad smell, fever), or really big clots. Could be a sign of retained tissue.

Other than that, all you can do is wait it out. I’m 2 weeks out, and my bleeding is just coming to an end. I’m sorry for your loss.

Post # 7
1 posts
  • Wedding: January 2019

Hi, I’m a regular bee going anon due to the nature of the post (very few people IRL knew I was pregnant). 

I’m glad you posted this. I have been debating whether to post something about miscarriage since last week, since, like you, I found very little online to prepare me for what was physically going to happen. I was unprepared for what it would really be like and thought writing about it might help someone in the future. It’s quite graphic (warning).

I became pregnant at the start of October on cycle 2 of NTNP. My husband and I were very happy that we’d managed to get pregnant so fast. We found out about the pregnancy at Wk 5 with a really strong BFP.

Up until Wk 12+2 everything seemed good. I only had minor pregnancy symptoms (tiredness and slightly bigger boobs) – no nausea. But I just thought I was lucky, as other family members didn’t have nausea with their (successful) pregnancies.

On the evening of 12+3 I did several hours of heavy exercise (this is nothing unusual for me though). When I got home discovered a small amount of light pink streaking when I wiped after peeing. I thought it was probably due to the exercise. It stopped again very quickly. I phoned the midwife, since up to then I’d had no spotting or bleeding, and she said it was common and since it was such a tiny, tiny amount not to worry. So I didn’t worry much. 

At Wk 12+5 we went for our first scan. The sonographer had trouble finding the baby, which I immediately felt wasn’t a good sign. She wanted to do an internal exam too. The baby was much smaller than expected – only the size expected at Wk 6+2. She asked if we could have got our dates wrong; we wanted to believe that that was a possibility, but really we knew we couldn’t have got the dates that wrong and the baby had stopped growing. But to confirm, they booked us in for another scan a week later. Of course we were very upset and that week felt SOOOOO long.

I didn’t know that it was possible to not realise you’d miscarried for that long. I’d always imagined if I miscarried it would be obvious. I felt cheated that my body could let me think everything was fine for over 6 weeks when it wasn’t.  

Over the next week, whilst waiting for the second scan, I started to bleed a small amount (like a very light period). There was no cramping or anything. But I began to wear giant overnight pads all the time, just in case.

The evening before the second scan, we went out with friends to see a show in a large city about a 1.5 hr train ride from home. About 15 mins before the end of the show, I felt some cramping start. It came and went; it was a sharp but short kind of pain.

As we all left the venue, the cramping got a bit worse. I turned to my husband and said ‘I’m in pain’ and we immediately left the rest of the group without saying goodbye. The pain wasn’t that bad, but bad enough for me to be worried about what was happening. 

About 5 minutes later, whilst walking to the subway, I had a kind of involuntary pushing reflex. It was like a plug was opened, and the blood absolutely FLOODED out. In a second, the huge pad was saturated, and I could tell that the upper half of my jeans were also soaked with blood. Luckily I was wearing a long coat and it didn’t soak through that, so passers-by couldn’t see. But I was absolutely traumatised and started crying. My husband was amazing and steered us through the subway to the train station. 

Once on the train, I found the toilet and realised the ‘plug’ was the sack and embryo. It didn’t look like a baby, it just looked like a baked bean covered in blood. I cleaned up as best I could but there was nothing of course that I could do about my jeans. I came out and sat with my husband – I sat on a newspaper to protect the seats.

Once we’d got home, I had a shower and laid down lots of towels on the bed. But I couldn’t sleep because the cramping got much worse. The only position I could get comfy in was sitting up and leaning forwards. The cramping would build up until I’d pass more blood and clots, then the cramping would die down again for a short time. Then it would repeat. I started to feel nauseous and I threw up.

After about 1.5 hours at home, I managed to fall asleep on my stomach. I woke up an hour later to find I’d bled through my pajama bottoms and new pad into the towels, and went back to the toilet where I could feel a large mass slide out. I assume it was the placenta, but I didn’t look.

After that, the cramping went away and I could finally sleep. So from start to finish it lasted about 4 hours or so. 

By the next morning, the day of our second scan, I was bleeding like I would do with a normal light-ish period. The scan confirmed that my womb was empty (and most of the lining had gone too). So I didn’t need any medication or surgery (although, tbh I’d have chosen surgery if I’d have had the choice). The medical staff were lovely. Really kind. 

So my experience involved the baby dying at 6+2, but not passing the baby until what would have been Wk 13+4. The actual miscarriage was 4 hours of the worst cramping and bleeding of my life, surrounded by about a week of lighter bleeding either side. Those four hours were NOTHING like a period. It was awful. With hindsight, I wish I had bought some adult nappies or something to wear. I’m so grateful that I was wearing trousers and a coat. I don’t know what I’d have done if I’d been wearing a skirt. I wish someone had told me what to expect.

I have never given birth, so I cannot compare it to labour. However, I imagine that my experience was not as painful as labour.

The same day, one of my close friends, who didn’t know I was pregnant (still doesn’t), texted me to announce her pregnancy. She’d had a scan that day too and sent me a picture of her healthy 12 week pregnancy. Life sucks sometimes.

Post # 8
875 posts
Busy bee

MancBee :  I find when they talk about it like a “bad period” — they really only mean for early miscarriages (before about 5 weeks). Few resources online discuss how traumatic later first trimester miscarriages can be.

We has a chemical pregnancy (fun name for miscarriage before 5 weeks) earlier this year at 4w3d. We’re talking only about 14 days since ovulation. I started cramping on 4w2d, which of course I googled and everyone said was normal. Since I had never been pregnant before, I didn’t know that the level of cramping I was experiencing was decidedly NOT normal.

I started bleeding bright red the next day and it quickly escalated into the worst period of my life despite being physically pregnant for less than two weeks. Double the normal dose of OTC pain meds wouldn’t touch the cramps. Given how early I was, there was no OB involved and I tested negative on a home pregnancy test the next day.

Hugs to you. 

Post # 9
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Sorry, I just re-read your post and I realize my answer doesn’t really make sense. My experience of “worse than a period, not as bad as labour” describes the days immediately following my miscarriage and d&c, while I was still bleeding/cramping (and also taking a ton of painkillers; had I been unmedicated, the pain probably would’ve been at labour-like levels).

I had the actual miscarriage (passing the fetus/sac) in a bathroom, and yes, I would say that pain is comparable to labour. It was terrifying.

I also had an early loss (5 weeks) in the spring of 2017, and that one was more like a period, but significantly more painful cramps, heavier bleeding and more clots for the first couple days. It also lasted about 7 days, whereas my normal period is 3-4.

Post # 10
4117 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve had two miscarriages. The first was early, just about 6 weeks. That one was like a heavy period – no real cramping, just very heavy flow. 

The second was much like others have described. I was just over 11 weeks, but we’d know things weren’t right since 8 weeks when we had a scan. They just kept checking and rechecking to make sure dates weren’t off (which is why they didn’t want to do a d&c or something). It was a Saturday night and we were watching tv. Thankfully my 1 year old was already in bed. I started to get cramps that were annoying but not too bad, which then steadily got worse and worse. It was as bad as labor with my son (which was fast and fusions). When I got to the toilet, blood was just gushing out of me. I called my OB and they said it was normal for where I was at 11 weeks and if it went for more than an hour, to call back. The full on pouring blood was about 45 minutes and just gross. I was scared and in pain and my husband was great but you could tell how helpless he felt as there wasn’t anything he could do to help. The whole thing was 3ish hours from the start of cramping until the major bleeding ended. I had a decent flow for another day or two and then just spotting for another few days. 

I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s horrible. Hugs to you

Post # 11
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had BO at 6 weeks, start with light bleeding, then it become heavier (but just like normal period nothing more) for about a week, no pain at all. This all happen while on bedrest. When I came back to the doctor, he said my uterus are already clean.

Physically it done nothing to me, but emotionally is sooo fucking hard..

Post # 13
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

MancBee :  I miscarried the same day I tested positive, so 4w5d I think. It was really painful, and I wasn’t even remotely as far along as you. I got chills/aches overnight. That was barely being late. I think you should see your doctor, if the bleeding does not slow or you develop a fever. Don’t be afraid of taking Advil etc. But, you may need a D&C if the sac doesn’t want to pass on it’s own to prevent infection. I’m sorry 🙁

Post # 14
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

MancBee :  also, mine was not planned, and I was SO SAD for like a week. That totally surprised me. It might hit you out of nowhere but my advice is to let the feelings and emotions come. Feel it so you can be free to feel something else. I do agree people should talk about it more. 

Post # 15
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

MancBee :  I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages so I ended up using misoprostol, but cramps were by far worse than a period. I also think the period like cramps description is for earlier than 5 weeks. I found the pain and bleeding was worse before I passed the sac and placenta, it got a lot better after. Make sure you follow up with your doc after too- I ended up having retained tissue and a D&C 5 months later for retained tissue that could’ve been caught way sooner. 

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