(Closed) Miserable and DH unsupportive

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry you are going through this.  Check out your local community college.  Ours has alot of adult education classes that are inexpensive and convenient to adult work schedules.

Post # 4
10 posts

explain to him how you are unhappy and lonely at nights and need to do something for yourself and take the class. If he doesn’t understand (due to the cost), make a compromise and cut something else out of you monthly budget (i.e. no more daily gourmet coffees or pedicures, etc: sorry if those examples don’t apply to you but you get what I mean)


Post # 5
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MrsSparkly: I feel your pain. I am nearly 30, and went back to school 2 years ago to get away from a poorly-matched career choice. I’m going back to school so I can work in the museum industry, because I need art and history in my life.

I’m sorry your husband isn’t supportive of your needs. I know the art class sounds really expensive and it might not be within your price range, but have you ever tried meetup.com as an alternative? You can meet people with similar interests to you that get together and do the stuff for free amongst themselves.

That might be a way to go?

Post # 6
368 posts
Helper bee

While I am younger than you, I have been there. I was so unhappy at my old job. I switched jobs, and I feel like I have a new life. I can’t even explain it. I don’t hate getting out of bed everyday. I am going back to college so I can work in this field for the rest of my life.

I think finding an art class is a great idea. Even making art for a hobby, and selling some may be good for you. I would suggest going to art shows, museums, and even reading books about art. Or take on the project of decorating your home with your art. While you may not love your job you can control your personal life. I think if you pursue your passion you will feel a lot more fulfilled.

Post # 7
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

How much free time do you have outside of work?  Maybe you could use your art hobby as a tool to create a new job through volunteering?  Possibly at a children’s hospital, a local theater, or a school?  You could form networks that might create openings that way and also, at the same time refine your skills.  I know that art is option used for emotional therapy, so the fact that you enjoy it should help you relieve some stress and express yourself, and that you can do just for yourself, but you could also use it to help others.  I agree that taking art classes would also help you express yourself, find direction, and also allow you gain more skills without spending the money school would cost.  Have you checked with other places that might offer art classes like a park district or even a YMCA?  They might be able to give you some leads.  You might have to offer to work as an apprentice for no pay, but at least you can be in the class.

Also, have you looked into things like graphic design or other careers that utilize art skills?  The benefits outweigh the costs if you can get a solid career that you are happy with.

Post # 8
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have never suffered from Anxiety, but my Fiance does.  He suffers from anxiety/depression.  He has for over 10 years.  Our first year of dating he had been in the psych ward two different times because he just couldn’t cope and wasn’t taking his medicine.  The first time I didn’t even know he was there till afterwards because we had just started dating (casually, it wasn’t serious or regular).  The second time though w as after we had been living together for a few months.  I was so scared, and confused about what was going on.  I didn’t know how to help him.  I only got to visit him 3 days a week for an hour each time.  It broke my heart everytime I had to leave him.  But since that last time, he has completely turned around.  They took him off his pills and he gets a shot every other week now.  It does have side-effects like weight gain and some sexual side effects, but that I can deal with.  

he has wanted to stop taking the shot and has brought it up to me before, but I told him that was a deal breaker for me.  He has to take care of himself.  I told him that it’s no different than a diabetic needing to take shots of insulin.  Just because it’s mental doesn’t mean it’s imaginary.  He has struggled with that a lot.  he wants to believe he can deal with it on his own. (which is what it seems like your Darling Husband thinks you should be able to do)  But that’s just not how it works.  Would he want you to deal with Diabetes on your own? or how about cancer? Mental illness is still treated with such a stigma, but it’s not something someone can “will” away.  

Post # 9
13290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is a really tough situation!  Like a PP said, I’d suggest trying to use art as a way to volunteer, because then there really is no cost to you, and you’ll be reaping the benefits while helping others. 

Will your husband go to therapy with you and maybe work out a game plan with your therapist and you?  Maybe that way he’d see that you two are working on improving your life, and he’s holiding you back. 

Keep your chin up.  Bad jobs sometimes get better, and situations sometimes seem worse than they really are.  I hope everything clears up for you soon!

Post # 10
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I know how hard it is to deal with anxiety, so I’m sorry you are going through this.  The only thing that I can tell you is that medication has been my saving grace.  I know many therapuetic techniques for talking to myself when anxiety hits, however when it hits hard, it cannot be controlled.  My advice would be to not rule it out, I take a very low dose and it helps tremendously.

As far as taking an art class, I think that is a wonderful idea that will help you a lot.  300 dollars isn’t much when it comes to your overall happiness.  Is there a way you can convince your Darling Husband to support this?  If not, I’d just do it anyway.. but that may not be the best advice, lol.

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