(Closed) Miserable… he's finally ready to propose and I'm NOT ready!!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Could you get a loan from your parents?  My advice – do not do not do not sell your eggs!!!

Post # 4
699 posts
Busy bee

@allyouneedislove:  I know it goes against the grain but asking for help, or even a loan, to be paid back at a later date, isn’t too much by any means. Ask you cell phone Porvider how much it would be to cancel out of the contract? It could be less than what you think. Also, let your guy know you feel that the timing isn’t right for a proposal. If he’s a great guy he’ll stand by you & help you out. Theres no shame in asking for help. I bet even god does occasionally =)

Post # 5
47 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with you that it sounds like you need to be responsible and take care of these issues and pronto but I wouldn’t cut off my nose to spite my face.  If you need help then you should ask for it.  If your parents can float you enough money to get your license out of hawk and get your car in decent running shape then you at least have a chance.  Sit with whomever you borrow from and let them know that you plan to pay “X” amount of money back to them on “X”date each month, week, paycheck and that you don’t see this as a gift and you fully intend to repay them.  Then go get one of those disposable phones for like $20 and put some minutes on it so you have at least some communication for potential jobs.

You can get back on the right track!  Just don’t be so stubborn that you keep yourself from getting ahead.  Most of us have been in a place before when we needed financial help..I know I have and it feels good when you repay what you borrowed and keep truckin forward.  Good luck!

Post # 6
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@allyouneedislove:  I hate owing people money, I detest asking for money but I have, and he was so gracious to give it to me because I was in DEEP. Just about where you are only add a 2000 dollar credit card bill. :/

Asking really helped our relationship because it reminded me to be humble and gracious to him and he’s never once held it over my head, and he knows I fully intend to pay him back but doesn’t want me to. Learning the depth of my finacnial struggle made him realize we needed to come together and strengthen our forces in order to accomplish the goals we made before we are to get enaged because he does not want this over both our heads.

Does this help? I’m sorry, I think I was just rambling there. 🙁 

Best of luck! 

And thinking about it is totally fine! Its normal and I’m just happy you realize not all your problems are going to be solved that way. 


Post # 7
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Borrow somebodies bicycle and start biking around town to find yourself a job, either that or start walking. If you are miles out of town then see if you can stay with someone for a bit. If there is a will there is a way.

Post # 8
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

have you talked to him about all these issues and let him know your concern? if so, and he would still like to propose and if you know you want to be with him, why not accept, but allow yourself time to get all of this straightened out. Nobody says that you have to be engaged and living together, or you cant get engaged because you have debts to pay. as long as he is aware of your situation and is ok with it then whats the problem? 🙂 if anything it should motivate you to work harder at getting all of those things situated so you can move forward with the start of the next chapter in your life 🙂

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