- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
My SO and I are long distance and have been for the past year. He is taking steps to get ready to propose (just spoke with his parents, is shopping for a ring, preparing a trip to be able to speak with my parents, etc.), which I explained to him is what I need in order to move to his state. He tells me that he just can’t be without me any longer, so he’s taking these steps towards getting engaged.
Of course, I am ecstatic, but I’m also miserable and panicked right now because my life is just so out of order.
I just graduated in May and am now applying for jobs in his area, which is so time-consuming and such a frustrating process. I moved back home with my parents, and we are planning/hoping that I will just be here for the summer before I am engaged, have a job in his area, and am moving.
The problem is that I am in debt and need to deal with these issues at home before I can move or even really focus on my applications. My cell phone has completely broken (doesn’t work at all) and the warranty won’t allow a free exchange because it has a crack in it, which is SO ANNOYING because the cosmetic damage has nothing to do with the rest of it. I don’t have a car because I got into an accident earlier this year which smushed in the hood of the car, and the hood is not able to be opened now, and the battery has died, so it is sitting in the garage undrivable– not to mention the broken window in the back. These two things alone are making it incredibly difficult to make any money… I can’t arrange babysitting dates, and I can’t go out and apply for jobs, especially as I’m moving in a month or so anyway.
On top of the money I will need to fix my car and get a new phone, I owe $900 in parking/driving tickets, which does not include the lisence reinstatement fee I will need to pay once I finally have paid them. My lisence is currently suspended/cancelled/whatever the proper technical DMV term is for it because I can’t pay the $900, so I couldn’t be driving around to find a job or to go to work ANYWAY!
I feel so ridiculous thinking about him proposing because it’s not like I could just move there and leave all of these things behind… I have a lot to get straightened out. And it also feels silly to be fantasizing about him giving me a beautiful diamond ring and treating me like a young woman about to truly start her adult life with him when I feel like such a child living with my parents with no means of transportation, no cell phone, and no money.
Someone said to me I should ask him for help, but that doesn’t feel right to me. I got myself into this mess.
I’ve even considered selling my eggs, but I don’t have transportation to get to appointments and my BMI isn’t in the range that they accept.