Miserable MIL expects me to call and speak with her

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
328 posts
Helper bee

Mother-In-Law sounds like a drama queen.   I’m lucky,  I only speak to mine if she needs something or if she arranges to have Saturday dinner with Father-In-Law and herself.   

Post # 3
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee

I totally get it. My Mother-In-Law and I had a bad fight about 6 months before my wedding. She was overstepping and making issues out of nothing for my Fiance to get upset over, which then caused us to fight. I literally lost my shit on her one day over something minor that broke the camel’s back. Not my proudest moment….anyways…

The best thing to do is to funnel communication through your DH if you want to keep things civil. That’s his mom, so if he wants to call her, have him call her and you can chime in here and there as they talk. That’s what I do (and usually over speaker so my DH is still involved in the conversation). It keeps her at bay (you are technically talking on the phone) but no need to actually call her myself (yay). 

All it amounts to: “Hi Mother-In-Law, how are you? Great, I’m good, just super busy with the holidays around the corner. You too? Ya, that’s how it is. Say hi to the neighbors for me.” Pass it back to DH and go about your business. 

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

i don’t talk to my Mother-In-Law on the phone bc if my husband is out of ear shot she immediately gets weird. tell her you prefer not to talk on the phone in general (which is true of a large portion of people under 30 anyway).

Post # 5
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Where does DH stand on this? Mother-In-Law sounds like she enjoys drama. 

It would probably make your life much easier if all contact with Mother-In-Law goes through DH from here on out. 

Post # 7
Member
3173 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not much of a phone talker. One amount of guilt is going to make me a phone talker. My Mother-In-Law will get texts and emails from me, but that’s it.

Post # 8
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t talk to my Mother-In-Law much and I don’t call her unless I have to. It’s painful being around her as she is so rude. I let my husband deal with her as she is extremely difficult and miserable most of the time. She has even yelled at me in front of family for no reason other than that she didn’t get her way. Just too much drama with her and she constantly needs to be doted on and catered to. Bottom line is: be respectful to her as she is your Mother-In-Law but life is too short to constantly take crap from a miserable person.

Post # 9
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
cik2017 :  So glad your husband isn’t catering to her drama. She totally sounds drama prone and easily slighted (yet oblivious to how badly she treats others). This shouldn’t even be an issue, I’m a Mother-In-Law and if I want to talk to my DIL I pick up the phone or msg her on FB like a freaking adult, not sit there pouting while I passively-aggressively sit there stewing that she’s not a mind-reader. (And hint for Mother-In-Law: the more awful you are to talk to, the less people enjoy hearing from you)

Post # 10
Member
9897 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
tinneranne2 :  

‘…. prefer not to talk on the phone in general (which is true of a large portion of people under 30 anyway).

Is  that so ? I didn’t know that – the young people I see about me seem to be talking  on it all the time  lol.

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