(Closed) Miserable over Valentine’s Day…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Roses, a card, teddy bear, poem… doesn’t sound so bad. There are probably a lot of girls out there whose guys forgot completely or didn’t even make the effort to call up a florist and pick out a card.  Try and be grateful or find a nice way to bring it up

Post # 5
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Jacqui90:  I think most girls dream up these high expectations (i’m guilty too) and then get dissapointed. If only guys could read minds!  Maybe next year say you want to do something fun and new to surprise eachother and that will get his wheels turning.

Post # 7
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Why is it his responsibility to plan something? Valentine’s is a joint holiday, what did you do for him? Sounds like he did a great job, if you wanted something extra as your first engaged vday why didn’t you plan it?

I totally understand, it’s so easy to get expectations up high (esp if his friend was hinting) then you can’t help but feel let down. The important thing to realise is that your feelings are not HIS fault, they are your fault. You should have expressed how you felt different about this holiday since it’s your first one engaged — there is no logical reason why a man would have thought of that. And then you should have gone ahead and planned something special for the two of you!

It’s okay to feel sad, but don’t take it out on your faultless man! Use this experience to improve your communciation and planning skills.

 

Post # 9
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think V-Day is overrated. But only got his attitude this year.  Last year I was devasted because my (then) Boyfriend or Best Friend just didn’t seem to have the mood to go out with me. And I thought he didn’t care. But than he surprised me with a nice an romantic dinner at home, candles, roses and a great meal;-) This year we both agreed on not buying any gifts for each other. Hey, we are getting married this year! And to be honest, he shows and says to me me every day that he loves me an buys me flowers so many times, I think there is no need to make V-Day such a special day, cause isn’t every day a special day with the man you love? πŸ˜‰

Post # 10
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

Whenever I have high expectations for my fiancé I just tell him what I want. I see this happen a lot with girls where they get disappointed about something to do with their fiancé when they didn’t even tell them that they were expecting something in particular!! Our fiancés can’t read our minds you know. 

I picked out my engagement ring, I told my fiancé that I didn’t want people around when he proposed to me, and I always tell him what kind of gifts I would like for gift-giving holidays. It’s still special to me because he still picks out things for me because I don’t specify to the point that he doesn’t have to put any thought into it. For example, if I tell him I’d like perfume and a nice dinner out, it’s up to him to pick out those things and it prevents me from being let down.

That works for our relationship and it might be worth a try. πŸ™‚ I am sorry you were let down, but try to keep in mind that your fiancé tried his hardest and probably had no idea you were expecting something different. 

If you want to do something special together for your first Valentine’s Day as a married couple, then tell him!!! You can say something along the lines of, “I would like a pair of earrings, flowers, and a nice dinner out for this Valentine’s Day.” He will be happy knowing that he’s making you happy, and by telling him what you want he can tell you what he wants as well so you two can both have what you were hoping for.

Just an idea. πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I am grateful believe me. 

Well it really doesn’t show. Appreciate when someone goes out of their way for you. If you’re not satisfied next time find a way to be explicit about your expectations. Honestly right now you sound a bit spoiled. 

Post # 15
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

@Jacqui90: Well if you want that then you need to tell him! The thought of giving you spontaneous gifts/doing spontaneous romantic gestures may not have crossed his mind, so you can just say, “You know, I’d really appreciate it if you would surprise me sometimes with _____.” That will plant the thought into his mind and he should take care of the rest. 

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