okay bees, i appreciate how caring you all are……..truth is, i’m not sure what exactly is going to happen, and i’m kind of waiting things out…so i’ve been avoiding the boards, sorry for appearing to ignore all your adviec and concern….I kind of felt like if I didn’t post and say, “I dumped him!”, I’d get all kinds of “WTF??” from people.
Here’s how things are “better”:
Fiance and i went to visit my family last weekend. My dad happens to be a minister/pastoral/marital counselor. I’m not good at hiding or BS-ing, so I basically spilled everything to him in private, and asked him to have a one-on-one with his future son-in-law.
> He did, and it went well. He also talked to me and gave me some advice about how to control my own end of things.
Fiance had a good talk on Monday night–we used the premarital counseling book I’ve mentioned–and I felt more comfortable and close to him than I have in awhile…but I’m still cautious…
He’s been sweet all week. Very affectionate and caring…For me, the test is–can he treat me lovingly, with patience and acceptance, even when there is any sort of conflict? He’s really good at being sweet and loving when things are smooth, but I *need* to see him do the same when I’m not perfect.
For example–this morning, I stressed out a little about the wedding plan timeline, and instead of calming me and saying, “Don’t worry, honey, we’ll work it out,” he kind of lost his patience with me. That put me in a funk, but for now I’m going to just put it behidn me/us, and move on. I know he’s going to come home and make a checklist so he feels like he’s “solving the problem” of the timeline.
I truly don’t know right now. I will not marry him until I feel happy, secure, trusting, and like I can respect him. Right now I’m not there yet, but I’m not ready to walk, becaus I have felt all those things iwth him before, and I have faith that they can come back.