Post # 1
Here’s the scoop: My immediate family has been entirely critical and unhelpful during the wedding planning process (well, moreso – they aren’t my favorite people to be around under regular circumstances, either). The most recent gripe(s) from my stepmother (who is quite the piece of work, I assure you). She says that my plan to have my Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man each pick out a nice, formal black dress for my semi-formal mostly casual wedding is going to look horrible and tacky. I have seen this done and I really like the look; however, now I’m having doubts. Does anyone know where I can find pictures of such a bridal party?
Her other complaint is that our registry is full of things that she bought (for as cheaply as she could find – it’s not that I’m an ingrate or haven’t used the stuff, but I’m telling you it’s not top of the line stuff we’re talking about) for me when I moved into a new apartment two years ago. Upon hearing her complaint, I checked it – the only items are bakeware, a set of cookware, cooking utensils, and matching flatware. All things that she gave me, but all things that are beginning to warp, rust, or otherwise fall apart. I know my Fiance and I are justified in adding these things (not only because it’s our wedding and we deserve to start fresh, but also because – hello! – these things were crap to begin with!) but I can’t stop thinking about how obnoxious she is with these and all the other comments she is making BEHIND MY BACK to other family members. I wish I could call her up and tell her to STFU, but something tells me that’s less than graceful. Anyone have any tips on how to turn the other cheek when someone is making annoying comments about your wedding or other life choices?
Post # 3
IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE! people with negative comments but try not to ignore any good advice even if you have your mind set…it could save you hardship and $$…
in this case tho…your SM sounds like a jealous lady.
if your wedding is not too formal they could always find short fun black dresses, it’s a great idea:
Post # 4
P.S. about the cooking stuff…is actually recommended to switch your pots and pans (especially if they have teflon) every few years…more so if they’re the cheap kind.
Post # 5
I think your step mother sounds like a real fun person to be around. NOT. (Am I 15? Did I just say Not?) I do agree with her a little bit on the formality of your maids dresses. If you’re having a casual wedding and you have your attendants in floor length formal gowns, I think it will be mismatched, but if you’re expecting guests to be in cocktail dresses and they go floor length, you are more than fine.
Post # 6
Kate – totally. Super fun. I’m pretty certain guests are going to get that it’s fairly informal – the invitations and the wedding website indicate that it’s a semi-formal (but kinda not…?) occasion but that we’re mostly out to have fun.
V – thanks for the pics, I knew that look worked. 😀 I’m trying to ignore it, but it’s all getting to me more as the wedding approaches.
Anybody else have tips?
Post # 7
I think semi-formal on the invite and the maids in floor length will work. There are a lot on sale on bluefly.com right now in fact. They’ve started carrying Amsale and Vera Wang! Who knew? Good prices too.
As far as the registry stuff goes, she sounds like one of those women who aren’t happy unless they are complaining or insulting somebody else. Everybody buys kitchen stuff every couple of years. It wears out! Especially if it’s cheap. My aunts buy me stuff on sale all the time, but they don’t expect me to keep it for years. It’s cheap, good for a year or so and then I’m done with it. I cook a lot, so they know I like to have lots of baking dishes, etc. Right after I got married I made a comment about not having any baking dishes and they went out and bought me 20 (seriously! LOL It’s too funny) and they were probably all 5-10 bucks and have worked like a charm. But, they don’t get their feelings hurt when I get new ones to replace them. Because they are not CRAZY like your step-mother. LOL Good Luck with her!
Post # 8
I don’t get what she thinks will look bad in reference to the dresses. As for the registry, its your wedding! What makes her think she can tell you what to register for? Thats the whole point of a registry. You don’t register for crappy stuff, just things slightly nicer than you would normally purchase on your own. That is just so odd to me….
Post # 9
kill her with kindness…. tell her that you just love the items she got you guys but wanted some back ups for the years ahead.
as far as the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses go, if its just the two of them, don’t include her in the details. I orginally thought the same thing but i have 4 maids and wanted royal blue. My mom threw a fit and I realized she was right, its harder for the maids to find the right color than for me to find it for them. I ended up picked a designer and a color but allowing them to choose the style.
I’m in the same boat with a step grandma.. yeah imagine that. She is completely inapproprate but I just include her in things i think she might like to please my grandpa (we are very close). People won’t think of me when she says stupid inconsiderate crap.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO INCLUDE HER IN ALL OF THE DETAILS
Post # 10
I have my girls in different dresses of the same color. I wanted them to be comfortable so I was like David’s Bridal (I picked them cause they could get dresses for about $100 and I didn’t want them to go in debt over something they woul wear one time) Victorian Lilac and Silver Metallic sandals.. I had my Bridesmaid or Best Man get her whole outfit for $114 dress was $89.99 on sale the shoes she got at Burlington for $14. I think it looks fine I LOVE the look of different dresses and i picked them for the individuals they are .. I still want them to be that person on my wedding day…