Post # 1
I’ve been married for more than 8 years now. I was working and since we recently moved to a new city I’ve taken a break till I get a work permit.
My husband has a female co-worker who he has known since a long time here. Her husband is really ill and is back with his parents and so she stays alone. Initially she helped with taking us around till we got our transport sorted and all that. My husband and her are part of the same lunch group and go out together often.
My problem is with their comfort level with each other. They call each other after office hours and talk often sometimes about work and at times i dont know what else.
The other day I confronted my husband about a half an call he had with her about some office issue which was not even priority. He responded angrily that I do not trust him. He hardly talks to me these days and doesn’t share much. Am I overreacting or right with my intuition. Please help me this is driving me mad
Post # 2
You’re not overreacting. It may not be an affair, but you’re still entitled to your feelings. I would be upset too if my husband talked more to his female work friend than he did to me. He should prioritize your feelings and your marriage over this other woman. Talk to him and tell him what is really bothering you (sounds like the lack of communication and focusing more on her than you). Don’t accuse him of anything, just let him know how this behavior makes you feel and what you need from him.
Post # 3
It’s nothing. He has been her friend for a long time and he is still her friend. Her PLATONIC friend. I have a work friend who I talk to a LOT. He knows my husband and my husband knows him. We bicker like we are married sometimes…I even call him my “work husband”…but it’s ALL platonic. I’m betting she’s going through a hard time with her husband being sick. This is not an affair.
Post # 4
You have every right to feel the way you feel. If what he is talking to this lady about is work then all is okay. however, friend or not, he should not be talking to another woman on the phone. period. it is inappropriate. sorry if this is old fashioned, i dont care. i am sorry her husband is ill. but she needs to find someone else besides a married man who is not her relative to find comfort. its wrong and disrespectful. and be honest, if you feel the need to talk to him about this relationship, there are feelings of mistrust. i know i would have them. dont let his show of anger deminish your feelings. that is called manipulation. and it is wrong. i dont recommend being hateful or disrespectful to him but obviously some new ground rules need to be laid down. I can 100% promise you that should the tables be turned, he would feel as you are feeling. if you have a minister, i would suggest talking with your minister with the two of you.