(Closed) Miss Coffee is leaving me…

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

… we have alot of people who actually have fiances leave them and when that happens, we support them 100%. Making a joke about such a thing to get attention is not funny or cute. 

Post # 4
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it definitely is tough when you’re separated for a long period of time!  Fiance went to New Zealand for two weeks this summer (while I was studying for the bar…meanie!) and it did take some adjustments.  I had to do allll my own dishes and laundry…but then again, I didn’t have to do his!

It definitely was quieter around the apartment, which was both a drag and a perk.  I will say, by the end of the 2 weeks, I really struggled getting used to sleeping on my side of the bed again.  The middle was WAY more spacious. 

Post # 5
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

1.  Fortunately, I only had to be without him for 2 weeks and that was early on in the relationship.  I do think it’s a gazillion times worse for the partner who stays home (I’m usually the one leaving).  I think a couple weeks would be my desired limit.

2.  Again – hard to say – but I don’t think any, actually!  

3.  I stay up WAY too late, eat junk food… but, I think it’s because I’m using those things to fill the space of the absence.

The advice I’d have for you is to PLAN ahead.  Give yourself FUN things to do, PRODUCTIVE things to do, and PRACTICAL things to do.

That means, time with friends or family – perhaps an activity you like doing but wouldn’t necessarily do with Miss Coffee…. perhaps a project you need to complete but have been putting off (reorganizing and color coding Christmas ornaments… I jest, I jest)….  volunteer your time somehow… I guess what I’m trying to say – is invest all that energy into something else… where you can see some benefit from it… so you are sitting there, driving yourself crazy, dwelling on the fact that Miss Coffee isn’t around.

It will take some effort and planning – but I think will be a wonderful experience for you!

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?

Hmm i cant really think of anything physcial besides my fingers obession to text him every five minutes!

2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?

He hunkers down and plays video games until the wee hours of the morning *laugh* When i do come back though he is very mushy and gushy for a few days!!

3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?

Well every day I work from 5:40 am to 5:30 pm and Darling Husband gets home around 6:00. Im usually pretty squirrely by around 11:00am ๐Ÿ™‚ I used to be really bad and call him but I have broken down to just the odd text here and there that consists of “I love you” “I love your bum” “we should have stayed home and snuggled…work sucks!!” But this urge to text or call makes it hard to physically function properlly

Post # 7
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, I feel better now, because I do the same thing!  Okay, sort of.  I clean, but I don’t eat junk food the whole time (unless you count granola for dinner).  I’m usually the one that goes on vacation without my fiance, and by day three I’m pretty much done.  The vacation’s not fun anymore and I get really impatient and moody.  So I try to limit my away time as much as possible.  =)

Post # 8
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh God. Mr. Coffee, no worries, I got the joke as it was INTENDED.

To answer your questions, the hubs and I have been together for over 3 years now (married almost 2 mos). He went away for a 4-day weekend a few months ago. I’m pretty independent and chill, so I didn’t think I would miss him THAT much, but I DID. It wasn’t as bad during the day (because I was busy), but at night, I couldn’t really sleep without him. I don’t know that I go through as many physical /behavioral ‘changes’ when we are apart, but I realized just how much I love living everyday life with him, and those couple days when we were apart felt like an eternity. I was depressed and just wanted him to come home.

Post # 9
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yikes i don’t think it was that serious. i actually immediately assumed it was just a trip and not a breakup. i don’t think it’s necessary to chew him out for his heading, it’s still relevant to his topic. it’s not like he said “I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE AIDS!” and it’s about centerpieces.

to answer your questions, Mr. Coffee:

1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life? We’re in a long distance relationship and usually go 3 -5 weeks at a time without seeing each other. :[

2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time? he’s a tough former-Army paratrooper but he sounds like he could fit in my pocket when we’re apart! i think the distance is harder on him since at least i have my family here. his only bit of home is when i visit him so he’s like a tiny sad kitty when he’s all alone!

3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time? ooh… i get bitchy haha. i start to get annoyed that we have to be apart and then i start acting goofy when the time to visit draws near. one of the guys in the office is always saying “its time for you to go see your man!!” so yeah… be happy it’s just a short trip!

Post # 11
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@KMSull: I’m really not sure why you found that so offensive…

Post # 12
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?

When Fiance has to leave for a certain amount of time I take that time to not cook, clean, or do ANYTHING. I usually have Subway for all three meals. But by day three, I start to get a little “you need to come back, I can’t sleep…  someone’s going to break in and kill me in my sleep because they know you aren’t here to protect me.” Yeah…. by day three I can’t function. 

2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?

For him, I don’t know what he goes through. He gets overly worried about our dog “How’s the dog? Show him to me!” (We skype every night) He then proceeds to have an entire 10 minute conversation with the dog…

3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?

 I know that I get ridiculously paranoid that every sound is someone trying to break in. I become terrified of the dark, I sleep with lights on, I become an insomniac.

Post # 13
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

NO NO NO MR COFFEE! DON’T GIVE UP! DON’T LEAVE!

Post # 14
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My Fiance has been working out of state for several months now.  And, even though we miss each other terribly, I am a silver lining kinda gal, and I am (trying) to just be thankful that he is working in this economy.  Especially, since we are trying to pay for this wedding!  

1. The longest he has been away is 1 month for a school trip.  It sucked, but I was able to make it.  I would think that I could last as long as he had to be away.

2. I have found that he has actually started eating better.  He used to be a little bit heavy, but being out of town he has been eating much better and his work requires a lot of walking, so I am calling him “Slim” now ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, I think the work is really helping him gain more confidence in himself.  He is such a good man, and not having a job for 2 months was really starting to get to him.

3. When he is gone,  I am finding some time to myself again, and it is really nice.  We live together and he is my best friend, so we spend a lot of time together when he is home.  Since he has been gone, I have had some good moments of “getting back to me”.  Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with him, but we all need some time to ourselves.   

Post # 15
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?

Given that my husband is in the military? I have to be able to function without him around for extended periods of time. I have so far handled 6 months without him, which included me moving over 1000 miles during that deployment. I expect at some point him to be gone for 12-15 months.

2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?

Lol, he forgets that he has to do little things like cook, clean, etc. On the ship he sends his dirty clothes down to laundry and they get returned to him clean; he eats on the ship and never has to cook or wash dishes. He also learns how to sleep in a shoebox, stay up for 24+ hours in a stretch, and function on high alert for extended periods of time. Deployments suck all around.

3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?

I tend to take over all of the reponsibilities of the household, from cleaning, cooking, paying bills, to ALL of the banking. It is hard to let go sometimes and let him back into the daily rhythm.

Post # 16
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

LOL I freaked out for a minute!

1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life? I can only properly function without my Darling Husband for 1 or 2 days! Its sad, but true!

2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time? My partner starts to drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes LOL I dont think hes totally serious but I like to imagine it

3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time? I just get REALLY bored and dont know what to do with myself! 

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