Post # 1
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
I just received a baby shower invitation the day before I was going to decide or not to join my husband on a weekend getaway. My friend lives on the West Coast, but the shower is on the East Coast and I could rent a car or carpool to attend. My husband’s friend throws a lavish all expense paid party on the West Coast every year that we really look forward to attending. Between the bachelor parties that my husband has to attend and weddings, we only have two weekends to ourselves all summer. I like kids and am super happy for my friend, but I absolutely hate all things shower related. I know that the shower will be mostly family, but I know that she really misses her friends in the area. I had my husband buy his plane tickets yesterday, but am hesitating. Are showers that big of a deal? Should I suck it up and attend or is ok to miss?
Post # 3
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
I think it all depends on how good of a friend this is. Would you be upset if she missed your baby shower? If so I think you should go. If you don’t think she would be upset if you skipped it then go to the party with your hubby.
Post # 4
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
@gaucho25: I missed my best friend’s shower last year for almost the same reason. She lives on the east coast and I live in the midwest. I was traveling the week before (out west) and was scheduled to just get home the day before her shower. I could have flown in for the shower, but I would have literally gotten there during the shower. It just didn’t make sense.
I sent a more expensive gift than I would have (since I didn’t have to pay for the plane ticket) and apologized for missing it. I truly think she understood. It’s not like she called me before to make sure I could make it to the shower before scheduling it, and I think people know how busy summer weekends can get.
If it’s possible, maybe you could explain why you have to miss the shower, but then make plans to visit after the baby arrives? Then you actually get to meet the baby and you can spend one on one time with your friend, which in my opinion is better than sharing her with a bunch of people. I hope that helps 🙂
Post # 5
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
My friend and I live on completely opposite coasts (but she grew up on the East and that’s why her shower is there) it’s a surprise shower so there is no way I can talk to her beforehand. She is not my best friend, but a very very good one who I don’t see often enough. Just wish it wasn’t with a bunch of relatives I don’t know. Babies and baby showers make me super uncomfortable but I also know that some people can get emotional about some events and I tend to feel guilty about things even when I shouldnt. Did you hang out with your friend right after the shower? Since we live on opposite coasts I don’t know if I will immediately get over when she has the baby.
Post # 6
Member
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I’d go on the trip with your husband. You admit attending would make you uncomfortable. I’d just schedule a separate trip.
Post # 7
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
Showers aren’t a huge deal to miss – if you send her a gift and a card it should be sufficient. Especially if you rarely get to spend time with your husband!
Post # 8
Member
9795 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I think it would be okay to miss it, maybe send her a gift to let her know you are thinking of her!
Post # 9
Member
6105 posts
Bee Keeper
I was sort of in this position last weekend. If it wasn’t for the fact that the baby shower was for my best friend/MOH, I probably would’ve just sent a nice gift and a card saying I was sorry that I couldn’t make it, etc.
I don’t really enjoy baby showers since I am not at “that point” in my life and those types of events aren’t my favorite thing to do (I don’t even really want to attend my own bridal shower lol). So if given the choice, I would choose the weekend with my Fiance over a baby shower of a friend (who wasn’t my BF or equivalent)
Post # 10
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
Thanks! I still feel guilty, but found out groom her husband that she will be nearby for two weeks after. Might put flight on hold to think about it another day, but at least I know I can probably take her out to lunch and give her a gift then
Post # 11
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
Send a card and a gift to the shower, and go on the weekend away with your DH.
Post # 12
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
I’d go with your DH and send a nice gift and a card. I wouldn’t be put if put if I was her–I mean, it’s a shower, not a wedding!
Post # 13
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
@gaucho25: I would say it’s okay to miss the shower. Go enjoy the trip with your husband.
Post # 14
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
Meh, showers are one of the least important events in my mind.
Post # 15
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
It’s ok to miss the shower, I’d just explain you had prior plans!
Post # 16
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
In my circle of friends, showers are not that big of a deal, especially if you’re out of town. I’d skip the shower and send a lovely gift.
One of my best friend’s is moving the weekend of my baby shower – I honestly think she feels worse about missing it than I do…