(Closed) Miss Friend's Shower or Change Plans

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it all depends on how good of a friend this is. Would you be upset if she missed your baby shower? If so I think you should go. If you don’t think she would be upset if you skipped it then go to the party with your hubby.

Post # 4
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@gaucho25:  I missed my best friend’s shower last year for almost the same reason.  She lives on the east coast and I live in the midwest.  I was traveling the week before (out west) and was scheduled to just get home the day before her shower.  I could have flown in for the shower, but I would have literally gotten there during the shower.  It just didn’t make sense.  

I sent a more expensive gift than I would have (since I didn’t have to pay for the plane ticket) and apologized for missing it.  I truly think she understood.  It’s not like she called me before to make sure I could make it to the shower before scheduling it, and I think people know how busy summer weekends can get.  

If it’s possible, maybe you could explain why you have to miss the shower, but then make plans to visit after the baby arrives?  Then you actually get to meet the baby and you can spend one on one time with your friend, which in my opinion is better than sharing her with a bunch of people.  I hope that helps 🙂

Post # 6
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’d go on the trip with your husband. You admit attending would make you uncomfortable. I’d just schedule a separate trip. 

Post # 7
1577 posts
Bumble bee

Showers aren’t a huge deal to miss – if you send her a gift and a card it should be sufficient. Especially if you rarely get to spend time with your husband!

Post # 8
9795 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it would be okay to miss it, maybe send her a gift to let her know you are thinking of her!

Post # 9
6105 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was sort of in this position last weekend. If it wasn’t for the fact that the baby shower was for my best friend/MOH, I probably would’ve just sent a nice gift and a card saying I was sorry that I couldn’t make it, etc.

I don’t really enjoy baby showers since I am not at “that point” in my life and those types of events aren’t my favorite thing to do (I don’t even really want to attend my own bridal shower lol). So if given the choice, I would choose the weekend with my Fiance over a baby shower of a friend (who wasn’t my BF or equivalent)

Post # 11
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Send a card and a gift to the shower, and go on the weekend away with your DH.

Post # 12
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’d go with your DH and send a nice gift and a card. I wouldn’t be put if put if I was her–I mean, it’s a shower, not a wedding! 

Post # 13
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@gaucho25:  I would say it’s okay to miss the shower. Go enjoy the trip with your husband. 

Post # 14
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Meh, showers are one of the least important events in my mind. 

Post # 15
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s ok to miss the shower, I’d just explain you had prior plans!

Post # 16
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

In my circle of friends, showers are not that big of a deal, especially if you’re out of town. I’d skip the shower and send a lovely gift.

One of my best friend’s is moving the weekend of my baby shower – I honestly think she feels worse about missing it than I do…


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