Post # 1
For anyone who missed today’s Miss Manners column, I thought I’d preserve it here.
Dear Miss Manners:
My partner of 18 years and I traveled to Des Moines, Iowa, where we were married. I am overjoyed that our relationship is recognized legally, even if it is not in our home state.
When we crossed the Mississippi River on the way home from our wedding, we were once again single, at least in the eyes of the law.
I have always introduced Rick as my “partner” but would now like to use the term “husband,” just like the rest of the legally married world.
Is it appropriate for me to say “husband,” even when we are standing in a spot where that is not true? Is it a term I should use only in places where our marriage is recognized? Am I wrong in wanting somehow to indicate that the legal status of our relationship has changed?
Please calm down — wedding jitters should be over by now.
If you are going to consider yourselves married or unmarried every time you cross a border, you are going to drive yourselves — and everyone you meet — crazy. You got married, and are each other’s husbands. Miss Manners congratulates you.
Post # 4
Good for her. I agree 100%.
Post # 8
Aw. Miss Manners has gotten so progressive lately.
Post # 9
(I meant that in a good way!)
Post # 10
yay!!!! I love it that miss manners gets it, this makes me feel good about other miss manners opinions!
Post # 11
I asked my coworker about this because they had a marriage ceremony but she still calls her ‘partner’. I’m like why don’t you call her your ‘wife’ then and she said because it’s not legal and so it sticks out more and might raise awareness. But I was thinking if she just said ‘wife’ people would more likely to put a face to gay marriage and be more accepting. I donno but I agree with Miss Manners.
Post # 12
Agree with Miss Manners! Yay!
Post # 15
Though I call my husband partner as well. I just like the term better 🙂
Post # 16
Awesome. And I agree with troubled – I think there’s something even more powerful about someone in a same-sex couple referring to their lifetime SO as “wife” or “husband”. Plus, if they went through the gauntlet of planning a wedding, legal or not, they should be able to use the terminology!