(Closed) Miss or Ms.

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Usually, if I’m addressing cards, if the female is under 18 I’ll put Miss. If she’s over 18 I’ll do Ms. IMO, Miss is for young girls/women and Ms. seems a little more independent/experienced to me. Silly reasoning but then my mind works in weird ways.

Post # 18
133 posts
Blushing bee

Ms is appropriate for any adult female, regardless of marital status– it is the female equivalent of Mr. Mrs signifies that you are married and Miss signifies that you are unmarried. I prefer to use Ms. especially in a business context, because my marital status should be irrelevant.

I believe in the UK and other English-speaking countries, Ms hasn’t caught on as much and people receive their bank statements and other legal documents addressed to Miss XY or Mrs AB.

Post # 19
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with the majority of posters, in that Miss is for youngins’ and Ms. is better for ambiguousness and women. I go by Ms. right now, if it comes up at all.

Post # 20
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I always prefer "Ms". It’s the feminist in me–why should my name declare whether I am single or married when men never even have that question in their name? I am a "Ms" now (single) and plan to continue as "Ms" when married.

However that being said, I don’t go out of my way to correct people or whatever. It’s just how I would right my name on forms or identify as how I would like to be referred.

Post # 21
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

Funny enough, when I was in college, I strongly preferred the "Ms." for exactly what you said… ambiguity (who’s business is it whether I’m married or not!). As I got older (and was still unmarried), I preferred "Miss" because I’d (still am) been having a rough time getting older, and thought Miss sounded… well, young.  Also, I feel like America’s Next Top Model may or may not had a small part in this… Everyone calls Tyra "Miss Tyra", and I thought it was so bold of her to just embrace her "Miss-ness"… and I followed along.  Silly, but I’m talking truth here! 🙂

When I think "Miss" I think "young", and as I approach my 30s, I’m all about young!  I’m married now, and have now reverted to Ms. (Since I didn’t take my husband’s last name, and for some reason I feel like using Mrs. Cathy Maidenname sounds a bit creepy, like I married back into my family).

Post # 22
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Here is a different perspective.  1) I am divorced 2)I’m independent and have some feminist qualities but not a total feminist.

I found that AFTER I divorced and used Ms., that people I’d meet would still ASSUME I was married.  It SOUNDS almost the same.  Now Miss? That DOESN’T sound the same.

After a few years of being single and lovin’ it, I decided to date again.  When I did date, I found that guys were wary and always double checked that I was single.  I had one guy I dated, (after first date we emailed back and forth a bit and in my siggie line I had Ms. Belle in Georga, and then my credentials and dept. below it ) really ask me "are you 100 percent divorced?"  And then there are those who STILL CALL YOU MRS. even though you’re no longer married.

thus, I’m COMPLETELY FINE with Miss.  Yes, I am a miss again.  I may not be getting chronologically younger, but when I became single I got sick of the AMBIGUITY.  I wanted to let people know, I am NOT a Mrs.  I AM 100 percent ok to date, I am me!


Post # 23
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Interesting topic here!

I’m indifferent I guess. I don’t mind if people say Miss or Ms. I think I put Ms. down on my voter’s registration last week though (just moved).

As for the Dr. part, I think that it comes off pretentious sometimes. I know it is arguable that a lot of work goes into it and you have earned the right to be called Dr., but I got irked when people get territorial of the title. HOWEVER, in this instance I would cross out the M. and write out Dr. Why? Because if the couple has seating/escort cars, favor tags, etc., they need the correct spelling and title of your name. You are a Dr., that is what should be on these elements (the response card is generically printed so its not like they snubbed you with the M.)

Post # 24
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

Heh, I’d totally just write "Dr." in the blank. 😀

Post # 25
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I agree with GaBgal and Mary Jane on this one, in your instance.  Correct titles are correct titles, and you’re a Dr.!

Post # 26
88 posts
Worker bee

On a similar note, if married, but keeping your last name (S), are you Ms. S?

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