Post # 1
I was reading my Mayo Clinic pregnancy book and it outlined the different types of miscarriage. It mentioned a blighted ovum and missed miscarriage. Unfortunately it just left me really confused.
The book said both blighted ovum and missed miscarriage were not common, but I feel like reading the boards here and on other baby sites they seem really common!! It almost seems like more women have experienced a mid- to late- first trimester miscarriage than not. I omit early because it seems like early miscarriage and chemical pregnancy are quoted as being the most common, but that’s not the ones that I keep seeing online.
Hubby doesn’t want me worrying about this, but we have to wait until 11 weeks for our first scan and I can’t help but remind myself that there is a possibility that this could happen to us too to almost brace myself for it. If I had just read the books, it would have been like “Okay, there’s a chance, but the odds are in our favor.” But after reading so many personal stories, it almost feels like the books are wrong and the odds are against us.
Anyway, I hope I’m not the only one who sees this. Of course I am more sensitive to it now, but I still think it’s crazy how something that isn’t that common seems to be so prevalent.
Post # 3
@MrsDulce: I know how you feel! I never personally experienced a blighted ovum or a missed miscarriage but I seriously freaked out about it constantly before my first scan. I was sure that I was going to get my scan done and see nothing or no heartbeat. It stressed me out, especially since I had to wait till 12 weeks to see our little one.
After talking to my doctor, he assured me that those things are pretty rare to see and was suprised that I even knew what they were. I would say the odds are in your favor and let that ease your mind. There were times where I worried to the point of tears that there was something wrong when it was fine all along.
I hope it helps! I know how frustrating waiting can be.
Hang in there!
Post # 4
@MrsDulce: oh thank god i’m not the only one. I’d never heard of this stuff before, but between the bee and the other forum i use it seems horribly common
i’m shit scared of going to my first scan and finding out that the baby just stopped developing weeks back even though i haven’t had a MC yet. Darling Husband doesn’t worry about this because he doesnt use the forums (so hasn’t read the stories) and its not the kind of thing people bring up in conversation
when are you due?
Post # 5
@newname_99: March 7. I’m in my 6th week. The first trimester is very nerve-wracking!
@michelledarlenehiggins: I bet that’s why my doc didn’t even mention it, since she thought I didn’t know. She just did the tests and an internal exam and said “OK! See you in August!”
Post # 6
I’ve through them…I don’t wish the heartache of an unborn child to anyone. (I hate the term lost/losing, I didn’t lose my child. My baby died.) The best advice I can give you is to stop reading up on these things. There’s no reason for you to stress over it. You should be staying positive, keep a healthy mind. Don’t stress, sleep is more important than ever right now. I wish you all the very best. Yes, they say it’s common, (I think mostly to ease those going through it..whatever) but it’s even more common to have a healthy baby. Stay positive. Stop reading up on things you don’t need to know right now. Keep informed about healthy eating, vitamins, etc. I wish you health, happiness, and lots of joy through your pregancy.
Post # 7
I’ve noticed the same things on online forums. I think it helps to remember that there are plenty of women who have perfectly healthy pregnancies who never join weddingbee or other ttc or pregnancy boards online so you aren’t seeing the entire population. A lot of times (not all of course), women who have experienced such a tragedy turn to these forums for comfort, so there are more women on those who have experienced one if that makes sense. Also, if you read a thread such as “has anyone ever had a missed miscarriage after xyz”, women who have not do not usually either open the thread as it doesn’t pertain to them or they don’t comment since they don’t have any information the OP was asking for. So most of those threads make it seem like everyone has them as no one says no that didn’t happen to me, my baby was healthy because that would seem very insensitive on such a thread. I hope this helps ease you fears some. Now if only I could take my own advice, I was actually just googling this this morning as I have my 12 week appt this afternoon. I had an early miscarriage (7 weeks) in March so I have been very on edge for this entire pregnancy. Here’s hoping we both have very healthy babies and can start to relax a bit more. 🙂
Post # 8
The first trimester is awful! I honestly believe half of my ‘morning sickness’ was actually just nerves over the possibility of miscarriage. Some research I found that helped me: https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/miscarriage-general
Also, 1% of pregnancies end in missed miscarriages, so you have a 99% chance of either having a very healthy pregnancy or knowing you are miscarrying.
I believe that it is such a tramatic event, that the women may post about it (theraputically) in multiple forums, so googling “missed miscarriages” turns up a lot of heartbreaking stories.
Try to keep telling yourself the other side of the odds, at 6 weeks, you have between an 78%-90.6% chance of a healthy pregnancy. Those are very very good odds!
Post # 9
I would agree with MrsEagleEye that you see a higher concentration of MC stories online because people go to the internet more when they are having trouble conceiving or are looking for support after MC. I had a missed MC, went in for u/s at 7 weeks and was only measuring 5.5 and waited to miscarry naturally at 8 weeks. After going through it myself, the only thing I can say is to just try as best you can to relax and enjoy every single day that you are pregnant!!
Post # 10
I actually tried to stay away from the books and internet as much as I could in the beginning of this pregnancy (14w today) because I had a missed miscarriage in Jan. I went in at 9w2d but baby was only 7w6d with no heartbeat. I think you’re going to see a lot of stories in this thread about missed mc and it’s going to seem a lot more common than the books say, however, when you look at the pregnancy boards as a whole, and see how many women actually have healthy pregnancies and never experience mc, I think the number would actually look much smaller.
The only advice I can give you is to try not to read about mc unless you have a reason to think something is wrong. It really has helped me during this pregnancy not be so worried.
Post # 11
I know how you feel; I’m 11 weeks now & so far have only had betas done. We’re waiting until our appointment next thursday to hear the heartbeat. Hopefully they can find it :S
You have to understand that for every woman that has a missed miscariage there are a dozen who start bleeding & pass the tissue. It’s not normal for our bodies to continue an unviable pregnancy.I think the missed miscarriages are a bit more shocking so they catching our attention. Usually the posters are well established & people have been following their pregnancy on the month threads so there’s a need to say goodbye.
Early MC’s & chemical pregnancies are definitely more common but you see them talked about more on the TTC forum than on Pregnancy. There are a LOT of chemical pregnancies!
@Principessa Bunny: I’m sorry for your loss & I understand that your advice is a product of grief I don’t think ignorance does anything but amplify fear.
@KH: Wonderful info!!!
Post # 12
I am a nurse and had never even heard of a missed miscarriage! Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened to me when I went for my first scan at 10 weeks. The baby had died at 9 weeks. It was a horribly traumatic experience for me, but luckily didn’t affect how I felt when I got pregnant the second time. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant.
Just keep reminding yourself that you have a much better chance of having a healthy baby than having a miscarriage. The first trimester is filled with worry, but try to relax and enjoy it.
Post # 13
You may see a higher proportion of women who had prior miscarriages on boards like this, because they may tend to seek out information about pregnancy, seek out support, and be much more conscientious during the early stages of pregnancy. Knowing the odds won’t change whether it happens to you, so FX for you and your LO that it does not!
Post # 14
According to my doctor 1 in 3-4 pregnancies end in MC. I couldn’t believe my ears. I had no idea they were so common until I had one myself which prompted me to research because I am young, healthy, don’t smoke or do drugs and I already have one living child. But the truth of the matter is that it can happen to anyone. It is scary stuff.
Post # 15
@MrsDulce: I experienced a missed miscarriage at a little over 10 weeks last year (baby stopped growing at 8.5w). My body didn’t actually recognize it, so I had to have a d and C to prevent infection.
I would rather miscarry “naturally” meaning, I just start bleeding, than have to see an unviable baby on an ultrasound again. My OB says that MMC and Blighted Ovums are generally flukes and are very rare.
I think many people don’t talk about it, but it you go on a miscarriage/pregnancy loss board on a site like “The Bump”, you will see it more.
Try to stay off of google and statistic websites…they will only scare you. FWIW, I went on and got pregnant and I am expecting a very healthy boy next month.
Post # 16
I know everyone’s really anxious to see their baby as soon as possible, but on the flip side it can be good to hold off and just assume everything is fine and normal, because most often that is the case.
I was misdiagnosed with a blighted ovum at a 6-week scan. Had I not gone for a scan until later on, I could have avoided 6 weeks of fear and heartache, because everything looked perfectly normal by 11-12 weeks.
As others have noted, the population here is not representative of the general population. I think you will find a higher incidence of people who have experienced problems or have a heightened awareness of them.