(Closed) Missing 150 RSVPs 3 days after the deadline!!!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@whiteorchid: I would give it a few more days first (maybe people used the RSVP date as the “mail by” date).

After that, split up the guests so your family calls their friends, you call yours, Fiance calls his and FI’s family calls theirs.

Good luck!

Post # 4
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

How long until you have to have a final number? Maybe give it another week or two if you can and see how many more you get. Many people wait until the last day to mail back the response so you may get more this week.

Aternatively spread the word to your relatives and see if they can casually mention to the family members that you are worried the post office has lost the rsvp’s (hint hint) since you didn’t get many back. This may encourage some of the latecomers to get it in the mail!

Post # 5
3265 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with the previous poster to divide it up by who is closest to them.  Your parents call your side of the family, his parents call his side of the family, and you two split up the friends etc.

Also don’t freak 150 guests is not 150 phone calls.  It must include some couples, and families.  So 75 phone calls max, which between 4 adults isn’t that many each (19 calls each).  You could hammer that out in an hour.  Each call will be less then 5 minutes.

“Hi Bob, this is white orchid.  I can’t chat long, just wanted to follow up, it seems there has been a problem with the post, and your reply hasn’t been received.  Will you be attending the wedding? 

Great, thanks Bob.  See you on the 3rd. Send my love to Betty and the kids.   Bye.


Post # 6
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would ask your parents and his parents to call their respective guests.  That might make it a bit easier for you. 

Post # 7
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I understand the intended kindness of the PPs, but I would get on this ASAP. Your deadline was 3 days ago and 150 missing RSVPs is not a coincidence.

Split up the list between you, Fiance and parents, and then call or text everyone who has not responded – they tend to solicit more immediate responses than email, at least in my experience. I don’t know if you have a meal choice, but we did and we were in a similar situation post-RSVP deadline. For some reason, texting seemed less ‘confrontational’ (not that we were rude when we asked) and most younger people responded quickly that way.

You can ALWAYS blame this off on your caterer or venue or linen vendor or something needing a count ahead of time. Your guests should know by now if they are coming or not. DO NOT feel badly about getting a response from adults who were too lazy (in most cases) to check a box and mail back something that’s already addressed and stamped.

Post # 8
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Definitely, divide and conquer. 🙂

Post # 9
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yup, I agree, divide and conquer.  Akward as it is, you have to do it.

Post # 10
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011


Post # 11
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

How about a bulk email with a gentle reminder to RSVP?

Post # 12
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think 3 days late is time to start calling.  I would do what others have suggested and split it up between yourself, Fiance and your parents.

Post # 13
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I had quite a few that I sent reminder emails to. I figured that if they hadn’t responded yet, an email was due. Anyone who didn’t have an email address, I called. I think SapphireSun’s idea of splitting it up would be a good start!

Post # 14
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ouch!  I know I’ll probably have to deal with the same thing.  Not looking forward to it.  Can you send a mass e-mail (with the address bcc’d) to everyone you have an e-mail for and call the rest?

Post # 15
104 posts
Blushing bee

I dealt with the same thing. Every bride goes through it. It’s not nearly as ackward as you may think. People are busy; they forget. Just make the phone calls; you really can’t afford to put it off. 150 people is alot of money!


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