(Closed) Missing Bridesmaid?!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 18
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@somegonz:  oh okay haha then I’d pissed as hell!

Post # 20
Member
9214 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@somegonz:  Just because she is posting on fb doesn’t mean she is fine. It means she is able to post on fb without engaging with anyone. She maybe in a bad place where she doesn’t want to engage with people or doesn’t want people contacting her so by posting on fb people will think she is ok.

 

 

Post # 21
Member
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I hate this passive aggressive crap. Nothing irritates me more than when I’m ignored. It happens rarely.. but when it does, oh man. If she doesn’t want to come, she should just grow a pair and say so, and stop wasting your time.

Post # 22
Member
12 posts
Newbee

uh, what a biatch. She sounds like she just isn’t into your wedding, but the onus is on her – she shouldn’t have agreed to be your bridesmaid. This happens all too frequently. I would stop worrying about it and would stop contacting her – she’s giving off her message loud and clear. Just send her a nice note (via fb message – that way you can see that she read it!) saying that you apologize if you have been a pain (even if you aren’t sorry, start off by apologizing, it makes you look like the good guy), and that you feel like she isn’t very much into your wedding. say that there aren’t any hard feelings, but that if it would be easier for her just not to be in your bridal party, you understand. The end. I’m sorry this happened to you though, people suck.

Post # 24
Member
12 posts
Newbee

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@somegonz:  believe me, I understand. I had 5 bridesmaids, and they were all in one way or another from hell. Some people are just too self absorbed and selfish to be happy for others. It’s sad, but it helps put your relationships in perspective.

Post # 25
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@somegonz:  Among your attempts to reach her, have you tried giving her an out? Saying something like, “Hey, I don’t know what’s going on, but if it is easier for you to no longer be in the wedding, you can tell me and I will understand. Is there anything I can do for you? Are you okay?” Maybe she’s having a really hard time coming to terms with the fact she can’t be in your wedding, maybe she is too worried about your response this late in the game and hurting your feelings, maybe she is dealing with something too stressful or shameful to discuss just yet. She should totally respond to you, don’t get me wrong, just thinking that maybe if you reach out to her in that way you might have more luck.

Post # 26
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

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@canarydiamond:  “I hate this passive aggressive crap. Nothing irritates me more than when I’m ignored. It happens rarely.. but when it does, oh man. If she doesn’t want to come, she should just grow a pair and say so, and stop wasting your time.

+1.

Post # 27
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@Mischka:  Exactly!

 

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@somegonz:  Just take it as a loss and if she does come around and she probably will she can join the audience at that point.

 

Post # 28
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

F that, I wouldn’t even let her be a guest. Guests are family and FRIENDS. She doesn’t sound like a friend to me.

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