Post # 1
This is a sticky situation. I got married last weekend and it was a relatively small affair (90 guests) and went off beautifuly! Most of the guests were our close friends in their late 30s with good jobs who’ve done the wedding thing a million times (i.e. the type that would certainly know that people typically bring a gift to a wedding). Well, there are a handful of guests (about 10 I think) where we have nothing from them — no card, nothing.
Now let me be clear – I do not care at all whether we recieve something! In fact, one friend gave us just a card and that alone was plenty! My concern is that we might be missing some cards/gifts, but I’m not sure. I would feel terrible if someone gave us something and then we never properly thanked them, but would also feel terrible having to ask people, “hey, did you give us a card/present?” How awkward! What should I do?
Post # 2
- Wedding: March 2017 - Living Desert Zoo and Gardens
Just best to leave it. As gifts aren’t mandatory for a wedding, just often common, it’s likely they chose to forgo the gift. Doing anything else would just put it in an awkward position! Were they ever to mention if you’re enjoying said “missing” gift, that would be the time to bring up you never got anything. But it’s likely they just skipped.
Post # 3
anothernewbee16 : If someone is concerned that you didn’t receive their gift (perhaps when they don’t receive a thank-you card) they will contact you.
There is no nice way to say ” I can’t find a gift from you and am concerned that it might be lost.” That just sounds like a passive aggressive complaint or reminder.
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s something that should be brought up. Send out the thank you notes to the individuals you received gifts/well wishes from and leave it at that. If someone contacts you asking about a gift that you did not receive, I would discuss it at that time.
If you’re concerned something might have been left at the venue and/or hotel, I would call the venue/hotel and ask if they have anything that was left behind. That’s as far as I would go though.
Congrats to you and your husband! Wish you both the best!
Post # 5
This topic comes up so often you’d think someone would invent a card holder that was theft proof and locked to the venue so it couldn’t be removed- or if it’s out there,that more people would know about it.
Agree with PP, there’s no good way to ask this and ten people seems normal for failing to give a present, sadly. I’m sure they’ll ask if you don’t thank them.
Post # 6
We had ~100 guests and not everyone gave a card/gift.
Post # 7
I’m quite a bit past our wedding now, and I have something similar. My best friend FB messaged my husband to make sure we didn’t have a blender before our wedding. (She and I had a long standing joke about buying each other blenders for our weddings — Father of the Bride reference). Anyway—so, not even a card or blender or anything other than her being at the wedding! We specifically didn’t even register for one because we thought it was very clear she was getting us one.
I’ve wavered so much on asking about it, but I decided to go with not saying anything unless she asks. (But I still hope she didn’t order one and it didn’t get delivered or something and then it looks like i never said anything or thanked her!) And so I understand –it’s not about the gift but wanting to make sure nothing got lost in the shuffle. I wouldn’t worry too much about it!
Post # 8
anothernewbee16 : I would play it cool. We went to a weekend not to long ago and I forgot the card at home and we didn’t have time to turn back. So I waited until we saw the couple again because I didn’t want to mail a GC incase someone else got it by mistake. So I wouldn’t worry too much.
Post # 9
there were some people that we did not receive gifts from, nothing said to each other (and one was one of his groomsman who did not even give a card, and left early to drive 5 hours north and go fishing…We got married on a Friday and he had the rest of holiday weekend to fish. Whatever).