(Closed) Missing him…need words of encouragement

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, look at it this way. At least now you know it wouldn’t have been for better or worse 🙂

If you are basing your relationship off of his employment status, then he is clearly not the man for you.

It’ll be ok 🙂

Post # 4
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Is there a reason other than the unemployment…seems a little harsh to break up if that is the only reason?  Was he actively trying to find a job or was he being lazy?  My Fiance is also unemployed right now, but I don’t think it reflects bad on me.  The economy is bad and it can take a while to find something.

Post # 5
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s always good to focus on yourself before of taking care of others. Taking care of number one is never a sin.

Post # 6
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

 You broke up with him mainly over his employment status. He was not the one for you. You broke up with him.

Post # 7
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Let me ask you this … if you were married to him and he lost his job, would you have divorced him?

And, if the roles were reversed and you lost your job, would he have dumped you because (in YOUR words) “it looked bad” for him at office parties?? 

Did it ever occur to you that office functions are great places for people to network?  You could’ve taken your unemployed Boyfriend or Best Friend to an office party and he might’ve connected with someone and got a job. 

Marriage is for better or worse and, believe me, there is potential to face far worse than unemployment in a marriage.  And, you never know when someone (your spouse or you) will become unemployed.  It happens.  It’s been happening a LOT lately, too.  Your Boyfriend or Best Friend isn’t the only person unemployed. 

If having someone constantly employed is that important to you, good luck.  Because you never know when that bottom might fall out. 


Post # 8
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I totally agree with BanditGirl.  Sadly unemployment is not a rarity in this country, especially for people just graduating.  I know a lot of people who graduated in May and are still looking for jobs. 

Were there other contributing factors to why you guys broke up?  If it was only problems arising from him not having a job, I would try to talk to him and figure things out.  Life isn’t easy.  There are ups and downs, and I know that in those down times is when I need my fiance the most.  In good, in bad, in sickness, and in health, right?

Post # 9
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with a lot of the other posters. I hope there were other factors besides him not having a job. I’ve been jobless/working part time for a few months now and my Darling Husband has been nothing but supportive. As a teacher who was laid off, I can tell you a lot of people are unemployed right now. I can also tell you that it messes with your self-esteem. I’ve also gone through some minor depression as well. My point is, it’s a tough economy, and marriage is for better or for worse. That includes unemployment. Now if he’s not doing anything towards getting a job that’s one thing, but if he’s having trouble finding a job…well I wouldn’t think people would think badly of you at parties, but who cares if they do?

Post # 10
9230 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

The big issue for me would be 1)  how hard is he trying to find work?  Granted, it’s tough out there for recent grads, but way harder for older workers & I know plenty of them who got downsized out of jobs who manage to find work.

2)  Is he willing to accept work “beneath” his education/skills just to bring in some money & contribute to expenses?

If he wasn’t doing both, I’d be outta there too.

 As for not taking him to events, I go to events with notable people & would never have hesitated to bring my then FH along after he got laid off!  I’m not ashamed of him!

 Being out of work in this economy is nothing to be ashamed of.  Not taking steps to get work & contribute to expenses is shameful








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