Missing my guy and grieving

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

 First of all. My condolences 🙁 I am so sorry about your mom. Losing a parent is tough. I lost my mom when I was barely 19 so I have an idea of how it feels.

Just take it one day at a time. If your boyfriend was what got you going in the morning. Is there a way he could call you and wake you up? Could he call before bed so you have something to look forward to? This way it’s less jarring that he isn’t there. Phone calls helped me a lot between being a Navy brat and a few long term long distance relarionships.

What about alarms? My husband and I both use an insane amount of notifications and alarms to keep on track. Would having a few of those help you get out on time?

Post # 4
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

thisisaname :  okay awesome. Sounds like you have a good plan in place. You are doing really well! Do you do any crafts? I enjoy doing those sometimes. They really make the time pass I find! 

Post # 7
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

thisisaname :  Thank you 🙂 and those sound like fun! What kind of colouring books did you get? I like drawing on my tablet when I have time. Knitting seems like it could be really fun once you get the hang of it. I’ve never tried. I should ask my Mother-In-Law if she can teach me whenever we visit next. 

Post # 9
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m so sorry for your loss! That totally makes sense that it would be hard to be away from your guy right now. I like how you planned a TV marathon for Valentine’s Day. Maybe you can have other mindless distracting TV/movie/internet stuff set aside for when things get rough?

Hang in there!

Post # 10
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

thisisaname :  I think people are uncomfortable with grief. They don’t know what to say and they just want you to feel better.  And alot of the time they have preconceived ideas about how people should grieve and how long. But honestly. You JUST lost her. You cannot be expected to be over it already. Just do your best. One day at a time you know? And fuck anybody who tells you that you should be over it and done in 3 months. That’s nuts. Being functional is important for sure. But it doesn’t mean you can’t be sad 🙁 sometimes I’m still sad and it’s been over a decade. 

Post # 12
Member
479 posts
Helper bee

thisisaname :  I am so sorry, Bee. The only advice I have is when you feel like crying, let it all out. Cry as hard as you need to. Everyone grieves differently. Take as much time as you need. In time, your grief will be replaced with happy memories of your mom. When you wake up in the morning remind yourself your mom would want you continue living your life to its fullest. Everything you do right now, do in honor of your mom. 

Post # 13
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: City, State

So sorry for your loss.

Another tip for making the time pass…try to keep yourself busy with productive things in the evening, rather than just mindless ones (though those are great too!).  Through my mom’s cancer treatment, keeping busy in that way really helped me. For instance, I really dislike cleaning, but found that the methodical work and “small goals” of doing laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, etc. made me feel productive and that I could, maybe, work towards bigger goals of returning to some sort of normalcy. Added benefit was that the physical movement was more tiring than sitting still, which helped with falling asleep. 

Sending you good thoughts!

Post # 15
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: City, State

thisisaname :  I should have specified that if you can’t do it, don’t feel bad!!  I’m 100% sure he understands. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors