Missing my guy and grieving

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
2816 posts
Sugar bee

Well, hell, your mother just died of a crappy disease. Cut yourself some serious slack, it’s no wonder you don’t feel strong and independent at the moment. And with your SO gone you’ve lost your comfort. But it’s only 2 weeks, it will go by – you’ve got this! 

I’m very sorry about your mother.  It will get better with time.

Post # 17
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

 

thisisaname :  are you close enough to some of them to tell them that you are still struggling and that you need help still? If that is how.you are feeling that is. I still feel that people who haven’t yet lost a parent or close person really don’t understand yet how long it can take to start to get over a parents death. 

Post # 18
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

I am so sorry.  I find a lot of solace from reading the posts on One Fit Widow. She has a fb page and writes beautifully about grief. The west doesn’t really know how to grieve very well.  I am sending you hugs and comfort from snowy Chicago. 

Post # 19
Hostess
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

thisisaname :  Oh you poor thing. That all sounds like a horrible combination of things. I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. I am also sorry your rock will be gone for a couple of weeks. I am sure you will be able to sort yourself out in the morning and get to work on time, you aren’t going to risk losing your job (but I totally get it, Fiance makes me coffee for when I wake up and I hate getting up in the morning!)

 

Go to work, then come home and crash. So what if the house is a mess when he comes back, you need to look after yourself. Big hugs. Hang around the bee, we will keep you company 🙂

Post # 23
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

thisisaname :  Oh cool! I’m going to look into those. Colouring books sound fun. Do you watch any tv shows?

 

Post # 25
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

thisisaname :  You know. I’ve never seen that. Maybe I should check it out. I tend to like either costume drama (alllllll the beautiful jewellery and dresses!!!) Or I like certain kinds of horror. I just wish I could get more of that combined together like in Crimson Hill (I think that was the movie name lmao)

Post # 26
Hostess
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

thisisaname :  Fair enough a messy house makes me feel worse too. Do what you need to do then bed and books sound like an excellent plan. 

Post # 28
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

My advice is to try and pay attention to self-care.

Self-care is often one of the first things to slip when we are grieving or extremely emotionally upset, and that’s ok! But, it can really, really help to feel better to take care of ourselves and it is often a very good distraction as well.

Try to make sure you are buying healthy food; take vitamin supplements and get a good night’s sleep each night. Try not to skip meals, and try to get your 8 hours a night… even if you only rest and do not sleep deeply, I promise you will feel better.

Grief takes a lot out of your body, and it’s important to put back in. Get regular gentle exercise; have long relaxing bubble baths. If you can afford it, go and get a massage or a sauna/spa treatment. Get your hair done or get manicures and pedicures. There are very easy and good treatments you can do at home as well.

Just remember that because your mom and your boyfriend cannot be here for you, it is important that you be here for you. You really will feel so much better if you commit to taking tender, loving care of yourself.

Post # 29
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

thisisaname :  I don’t blame you. I go exactly nowhere when theres ice on the roads. I reminded myself why this weekend. I went out to the commissary because there was just a bit of sleet but didn’t seem to be ice yet and I live like 5 minutes away. Well.. in that 5 minutes the slush started getting slightly slippery. I got myself and my kid safely in the store, grabbed our milk and butter and GTFOed.  Well in the time it took me to do that it got even more slippy and I had to push her stroller into the grass because I couldn’t control my walking on the sidewalk at all. Needless to say I basically crawled home in the car. 

Ice is no joke. Since I’ve lived here theres been times where people basically couldn’t even press on the gas pedal because if they did their car would spin out because of the ice and it always happens fast. So yeah I think you were right to take off work. Hopefully the ice is all gone when you need to leave the house! 

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