Post # 1
Ever since I got engaged, I assumed I would take my husband’s name when we got married. As soon as we got back from the honeymoon I went and changed my name absolutely everywhere with the excitement of being a newlywed.
Well, now that the novelty has worn off, I am starting to have second thoughts. I miss my maiden name!! I had it for so long and all of a sudden it is nowhere to be found. I know I should have thought about it more before making the change. But I was just so excited to be married! I think the fact that tradition dictates a name change contributed to me maybe acting too fast.
But, now it’s all been done. Changes at work, with the goverment, all my credit cards…everything! Is it too late or too weird to go back?
Any of you ladies who have changed your name go through a period of mourning/loss/etc.? Any ideas/advice suggestions/reality checks would be much appreciated.
Post # 3
If you feel like you changed your name too soon because you were caught up in the rush of being a newlywed, the last thing you want to do is to change it back in a hurry because you are having second thoughts. I think it is normal to go through a "grieving" process or period of rough transition whenever something important (bad or good) changes in your life and this is no exception. For example, new parents often grieve the loss of their pre-child freedom, but that doesn’t mean they don’t wish they had never had kids. It’s just different and takes a while to adjust to.
So this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t change it back necessarily, just that you should give yourself more time to get used to it—without the novelty of newlywed-dom hanging over you. You would probably be questioning yourself right now even if you hadn’t changed it, except you would be thinking of all the reasons to change it instead of those for keeping your maiden name. Just because the thrill is gone doesn’t mean it was a bad decision. It’s never too late or weird to go back, but don’t panic just yet.
Post # 4
I miss my maiden name every once in awhile, still to this very day, even after over 7 years of marriage. But I wouldn’t make any rash decisions to go and change it back though to your maiden name if I were you. Give it time to sink in. I think it took me a 6 months to really get used to it! I bet you’ll start to really embrace it before you know it. I love that we share the same last name now- it makes me feel like we’re a family. And I like that there’s no ambiguity. But I’m kind of traditional like that.
I do know people who use their maiden name professionally but use their married name on personal stuff. I’m not sure how they accomplish that legally though. I can understand wanting to keep that identity, especially if you’re established in your business/field.
Post # 5
What about having your maiden as your middle name?
Post # 6
That is what I did! I will use all three until I no longer miss the maiden name….
Post # 7
I did what my mom did – which was to simply add the new name. So now I have four names, which is occasionally its own difficulty, but I don’t miss anything. I knew it would be hard to get used to the new name, and it has been, and I have professional issues to consider as well. So I use both names at work, and his name socially. It’s a good compromise. If you think that you really want your name back, I would consider making the change to add it as a second middle name. That will require you to change your drivers license, social security, passport, insurance, and some work related stuff, but not your credit cards or anything that doesn’t show your middle name.