Post # 1
My fiance and I were engaged in February and started planning our destination wedding for next summer. My mom suddenly became ill and passed away last week. I have been home to plan her funeral and sort her “estate” (more like debts) and have seen many people who I haven’t seen in a long time. It has been so odd because in the same breath they congratulate me on the engagement and express their sympathy for my mom’s passing. I can’t help but just feeling sick to my stomach about thinking about the weeding and that she won’t be involved in the planning, or be there, or be a gradma to my (future) children. I know it’s normal to feel this way, but I do not have any one else to share these feelings with. My father passed away years ago, my brother and sister are a lot younger and my fiance has both of his parents. Any ideas to help me work through this
Post # 3
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. That is just heartbreaking. My only advice is to just give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. I don’t think there is any way to speed the grieving process.
If you can, check in regularly with your little sibs, too – I’m sure they will need a lot of support right now. If they’re still minors, do they have a good guardian?
Post # 4
I cant offer you any advice as I have not gone through this but please know we are always here for you and I am so sorry you are going through this, I cant imagine what you must be feeling but know that your mother would want you to carry on and have the best wedding you can have, *hugs*
Post # 5
O hun, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. My father, who I was so close with, passed away suddenly 4 years ago. My mother and I don’t get along, so I’ve been largely planning my wedding on my own anyway. But I know it’s not the same, as I have sisters close in age that I was able to grieve with, and because you don’t have either parent available to you at all.
I really, really wish I had some good advice for you. But know that you are stronger than you can even imagine. You will get through this, and although you will NEVER not miss your mom and it will NEVER be easy to be without her, you’ll get through it with the help of friends and your Fiance. Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to. Cry when you need to (don’t hold it in), and know that although Fiance can’t understand what you’re going through, he’s your Fiance for a reason and has a great shoulder to cry on. When you get overwhelmed with everything, take a step back and do something you love to do (read, go outside, see a movie, go dancing). Remember also that it’s ok to be happy when you want to laugh.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry to hear of your mom. It’s ok to miss her during wedding planning and on your wedding day. I lost my mom about 5 years ago now and there are definnately still some tough moments. So far I have just tried to anticipate when the worst moments might be and surround myself with supports for those times. I made sure that my wedding party consists of the type of people that I can tell when something is making me sad. You can do this! Just make sure you giveyourself time to havefeelings when you need to!