(Closed) Missing RSVPs (of people you know aren't coming…) what would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you still send 'still waiting for your RSVP' messages to those you KNOW aren't coming?
    send them a short message to confirm that they aren't coming, really they should know better! : (39 votes)
    91 %
    Just forget it, they are obviously not coming! : (4 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’d phone or at least send a quick message.  Sure you shouldn’t have to, but it’s better than having surprise guests on the big day!

    Post # 4
    717 posts
    Busy bee

    as annoying as it is, don’t sink to their level just because they can’t have common courtesy.  wait until the rsvp deadline has passed and contact them with something along the lines of “hey just checking in because we haven’t heard from you and we need our final numbers.”  if you don’t hear anything after that, mark them as not coming.

    Post # 5
    3121 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Definitely don’t forget it!   Most of my missings came!

    I saw it this way:  You tried to be formal and polite with the beautiful invitations and RSVP cards.  They ignored it.

    Now, you do whatever you need to hear from them:  text message, e-mail, phone call, facebook.  It’s not “bugging them.”  You’ll be surprised how embarrassed people will be when they realize they didn’t reply! 


    Post # 6
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I would definitely give anyone you haven’t heard from once the deadline passes a call just to confirm.  They should know better, it is common courtesy.

    Post # 9
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    Yes you have to follow up.  You don’t KNOW yet that they aren’t coming.  You suspect they aren’t coming, but it’s not the same.

    Feel free to send them a “If I don’t hear from you by XX date, I will take it to be you aren’t coming.


    Post # 10
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee

    Darling Husband and I were split on this.

    I wanted to be thorough and follow up with every single invite that went out – even if I did not expect the invitee to attend.

    Darling Husband, on the other hand, had the mentality of “if they don’t send it back, they’re not coming.”  But I KNOW his family – they would never send a pre-paid postage RSVP back (don’t get me started on this…)

    Good thing we called to verify.  Of the 5 or so missing RSVPs, ALL were planning on coming!!!

    I guess you never know!

    Post # 11
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Your safe bet is to call and check, sometimes people misplace the RSVP card and then think they sent it, or heck even think mentioning anything about your big day means that you will assume they are coming so they don’t send it. Always check.

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