(Closed) Missing the bride gene?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MelBel:  If you don’t care about what the cake looks like, that is totally fine! I don’t think you are missing the bride gene. If you are, I am too. For me, some things are just not that important as others. I thought when I started wedding planning that I would be all over every detail but in reality sometimes I’m just like, eh! Moving on! I don’t think it makes me any less of a bride…maybe it makes me more lazy!? haha 🙂

Don’t feel that you have to have a huge dossier of cake images, but think about what you want to create that simple look. Peek at Pinterest or Martha Stewart’s website. Maybe your Mom or Mother-In-Law might have some ideas for you, too.

Post # 4
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your baker should know how to advise you, but you might have to help him/her get you started. Just say “I’m far more interested in what it tastes like than what it looks like. I’d like these flavors, and I want a fairly classic/simple/elaborate/whatever style (easy to base that on your overall wedding theme). Tell me about other cakes you’ve done that are like that.”

So many wedding professionals are used to NOT offering advice, probably from various brides going apeshit over suggestions they didn’t like. Seems like they need to really know you don’t have a vision yet before they’ll start giving you ideas. Make it clear that you want that advice!

As for not having the “bride gene,” don’t worry about that. There’s a million details in this process, and you won’t be equally interested in them all!

Post # 6
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MelBel:  I think you can have whatever theme you want! Or, you don’t have to have a theme at all. We are not having a theme. I joke that our theme is ‘celebration’ or ‘wedding’.

For theme ideas though…

A tea theme would be fun! You could get vintagey tea pots and use them as flower vases for centrepeices. You could amass cheap china cups and saucers and have a little tea station, with different kinds of tea and little finger sandwiches and tiny desserts. Your favours could be tea bags.

A board-game themed wedding is something I considered, to tell the truth. We are definitely going to have Trivial Pursuit trivia cards on every table, for passing the time, and ice breakers. There are so many fun ideas though. If you love Monopoly, you could make each table one of the properties. Then the escord cards could be like the chance cards and say things like ‘Take a Ride on the Reading…’ or ‘Go Directly to Boardwalk. If You Pass Go, Collect $200’. If you love Scrabble, you can make coaster tiles or tile name settings.

Sports or travel, I got nothing!


Post # 7
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You don’t need a theme, you don’t need colors, you don’t need to have an opinion on your cake. I might be missing he bride gene too because planning the weekend has been easier than planning a company picnic and that’s exactly what it feels like. I think that part of it is because I work full time in a corporate setting and we have a two year old and a house, so I don’t have a lot of time to think about whether or not these whites match or if chair upgrades with make or break my reception. If you’re working and studying for the CPA, you might just be using your brain activity elsewhere 🙂

Post # 8
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Okay so first of all you aren’t missing the bride gene because you don’t know what cake you want. (If it helps, cake = massive blank for me too. My SIL2B is making it, the wedding is in four weeks and I am still stumped.)

Secondly, you can have a theme of whatever you like – remember the wedding is ABOUT YOU, not about the theme.

If we have a theme it’s top hats, tea parties, film, music, words and… stuff we like. It’s about us, so it’s all good.


Post # 9
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You definitely don’t need a theme. Are you going to have a florist? My florist came up with an amazing idea for ultra simple centerpieces, which has helped set the tone for everything else: linens, cake, invites, etc. I’m not crafty or creative or really that concerned about decor, so she was an absolute lifesaver.

Also, it’s perfectly fine to pick a baker based on taste now, and decide much later about design. I ended up looking at cake photos on The Knot a few days before my appointment so that I had a few photos to show potential bakers.

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