Post # 1
Ok ladies I apologize in advance because I just got done blubbering like a fool and I am very emotional. My grandfather, who I called Papa, was the best friend that I ever had. Not only that but he was a father when I was without one and the person in this world who brought stability and never-ending, over-whelming love to my life. Thats not to say my mother didnt provide that, or that my papa was a saint but to me he was everything. His home was my sanctuary and I always said I would live there some day, in fact I took my senior pictures there. That being said my Papa passed away in August of 2007, I was 16. He wasnt there to see my graduate from High school, he wont be there for my college graduation or when I have kids and he wont be there in a year and 3 months to walk me down the aisle along with my stepfather. He is gone. Forever. And the pain I feel is so overwhelming. I get so angry and hateful because my cousins had him for all of their major life events (my mom was the youngest). I just hurt so much and get so angry at God because of all the people my Papa would be the one who this wedding means the most to, and sometimes I feel like I cant get married without him there. I just dont know how I am going to do this ladies.
Post # 3
Awww, I’m so sorry. My grandma passed away when I was 18 (my grandpa when I was 20), and my grandma was one of my favorite people in the world. She taught me how to sew, how to cook, how to be a stubborn pain in the ass. My grandpa used to tease her because she was in a gang as a teenager..but a gang in the 40s meant that she stood around on the street corners in Hawaii (where she was from), smoked and cussed. Apparently her nickname was Rusty…and she absolutely hated it when he called her that. This still makes me laugh. They were together for over 50 years, and they teased each other and gave each other crap all the time–lovingly. I hope my marriage is like theirs.
I wish more than anything that they could be here for my wedding in June. She passed away about a month before I met Fiance, and I wish she could have met him–she would have loved him. My grandpa liked him a lot. But I know that they will have front row seats for the wedding, even if it’s just in heaven (perhaps with binoculars?).
So.. what I’m trying to say: of course he’ll be there, even if it’s just in your heart. But he wouldn’t want you to not get married just because he’s not around, would he? He wouldn’t want you to feel like that, he’d want you to be happy.
Post # 4
@rachie205: thanks 🙂 That story about your grandma is wonderful. Im going to try to feel better about it, its just hard to go through with it when I know it will never be as I envisioned it because he wont be there.