Post # 1
I met my ex whilst we were both living and working in the UAE. I honestly believed I had found my soulmate, the person I would share the rest of my life with.
When we first started dating- our relationship was great. Our lives were incredible. Theatre, dinners, brunches and staycations – it was everything I ever wanted. But shortly after our first break up (which lasted 2 weeks) the ex told me he had to move back to the UK as his parents wanted him to take over the family buisness.
Looking back, I don’t think I waa ready for this nor did I want it but I really loved him at the time and felt like the luckiest girl alive to have met him. I was offered two job positions to keep me in the UAE but my ex declared he couldn’t do long distance and I was scared I’d lose this amazing man.
When we moved back to the UK things changed completely. It all became about him and he broke up with me for a 2nd time and then a 3rd time after I took him back.
I really loved my ex. But I know now I was in an unhealthy/toxic relationship. It’s been almost 4 months since he left me and I can’t help but feel like I made a huge mistake moving.
I earnt such good money abroad and had such an amazing life style. I know I found living alone hard but I think now I could deal with it. I’m unsure whether to stay put here now or go back to the UAE (I fear I have less chance of meeting someone over there) but the lifestyle is just soo good and means I could save for a deposit on a house.
Have you ever made a big sacrifice for a partner and then regretted it after you split? If so, what did you do after? Any advice on what to do now would be great?
I am having therapy but this is the one thing consuming my thoughts.
Post # 2
I moved to another city to be with my ex. When the relationship was over I moved back to the city I was living in before. I had no connection to the city except the ex so there was nothing there left for me. I also moved to another country to be with my husband. Here I feel like I built a life and if we ever get a divorce I don’t think I would leave. So how is your life now? Are you happy with your job, your overall life, friends, family, hobbies? Where is there more opportunities for you? Maybe going back would be an investment. You can go grow, enjoy your live and save and then come back after a couple of years if that’s needed.
Post # 3
I moved across the country with an ex. We made it all of 6 months before I finally decided to free myself. I stayed in that state for another 6 months trying to make it work, but the mix of mourning a serious relationship and trying to fix the financial mess I was in really made things difficult. It was the lowest point in my life. I was ashamed to ask for help but my parents graciously reached out to me after learning how severely damaged my credit and mental health was, and insisted that I move in with them while I put the pieces of my life back together. It was really hard for me, I felt like I was giving up. But it was one of the best moves I ever made. My parents helped nurture me back to stability, I got my credit fixed in about 2 years, and around the same time met my now fiance. My life has done a complete 180 and I don’t think I would have recovered had I stayed in the place where it felt like all my dreams fell apart.
Post # 4
aybeecee : Thanks for sharing your story. So it’s only been since May and in July I moved back to my hometown. So I’ve not given it a massive go but I do have a good new job starting in September and I’m willing to see how it goes, I’ll make an effort to build a life and possibly see how I feel in a years time. I guess if I ever moved back to the UAE – there would be so many more things there that would remind me of the relationship and our memories of when things were good. I probably need to give it some time and see how I feel as it’s all happened so quick.
Mrs.Massontobee : Thanks for this. I’m the same. When we returned to the UK I came back with some decent savings but I’ll admit I spent most on creating a home for us so now I regret wasting it all. It’s tough but I think maybe I need to give myself a year or two to see how things go before running back abroad.
Thank you for both your help x