(Closed) Mistress Conversation

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am very sorry to hear that you were raped.  *hug*  I hope you seek some counseling to help you overcome that.

I honestly don’t have much advice. First, I don’t believe open relationships can work and I’ve never been in one nor would I ever agree to be in one (I just can’t handle it).  Second, I think there are a lot of questions that are unanswered. 

How long have you two been together?  What do you mean by an open relationship – what are your rules?  How long has your relationship been open?  Whose idea was it?  Are you comfortable with that idea (or were you, but are you no longer comfortable with it)? 

Post # 4
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m kind of confused OP.. you’ve always been in a relationship, but the thought of a mistress is a no-no? I think I’d need your definition of “open-relationship” because I think everyone has a slight variation.

Post # 6
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Oh my goodness.So sorry to hear that you were raped. I am too jealous for sm open relationship.I think it complicates things.I hope that you reach a compromise that you are both comfortable with.

Post # 7
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

Sorry I think I might have asked the same questions as @futuremrsk18:. I think we posted at the same time. 

Post # 8
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@Jaxxmom:  This is something you’re probably going to have to bring up in counseling. I don’t think a lot of bees have experience with open relationships. I know I don’t, so I’m at a loss :/

What would happen if you decide to no longer have an open relationship? Would Fiance be okay with that?

Post # 10
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@Jaxxmom:  What the.. seriously? You went through something HUGE and he won’t budge on the topic?

Post # 11
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Jaxxmom:  So how does the open relationship work?  Your SO brings in a girl and you are friends with her and she has sex with your SO?  And you have to know about it? 

When you say you love each other, but your loins speak another language, that honestly sounds very conflicting to me.  Do you guys have sex with each other – or did you, at least before August? 

Have you sought counseling since August? 

Post # 12
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Chrysoberyl:  My first reaction was confused, too – but it’s hard because they’ve always been in an open relationship and it sounds like it was at her idea.  It’s the type of relationship they’ve agreed to and has worked for them.  Perhaps it won’t work for them anymore and maybe they shouldn’t be together if what they want out of the relationship isn’t the same thing.  It’s really hard to say because it’s a topic I’m so unfamiliar with. 

Post # 13
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

This is something INCREDIBLY personal and difficult for us to be able to judge/help with the situation. Keep going to counseling. Whatever you do, do it for YOU.

What got me kind of miffed at her Fiance (even though it’s none of my business) is that she said that he had not been in open relationships before her. I feel like, if he was able to do it before, he can do it again for her.

Post # 15
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

IMO I think you guys should wait before bringing some one into your relationship. You are probably in no condition to deal with someone new in your relationship. I think you guys should postpone this whole conversation once you are feeling better. Your partner should understand.

The topic ‘Mistress Conversation’ is closed to new replies.

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