(Closed) Misunderstandings over IM and stuff! Grrrr

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
46597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Of course it’s not just you!

Body language is said to account for up to   93% of the message sent and received.

You only have to read the posts here on the Bee to see examples of misunderstanding with the printed word.

Post # 4
1527 posts
Bumble bee

Talking over the internet is really hard…like the PP said, a lot of communication is nonverbal. There can be a lot of misunderstandings…there are misunderstandings even when you’re face to face! Reading things on a computer just makes it more complicated.

Post # 5
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I find that one way to avoid miscommunication is to literally type out the reaction you’re having; this works really well if you have a signature face that you make when disgusted or an eye roll or something that he’ll recognize and be able to visualize.  For example, when I’m really excited about something, I’ll type “***insert high pitched girly squeal***” and SO knows what that looks like.  It’s better than a generic happy face.  Also, picture message; take photos of your facial expressions and then attach a brief note.  This way, your SO gets to see you and you avoid miscommunication.  If you start, he might get the hint and follow your lead.

Post # 6
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Do you use Skype? Obviously that doesn’t work at all times, but Fiance and I have just sat on Skype together for hours, doing our homework. Half the time we don’t talk, but if we want to say something we can- just like if we were sitting next to each other doing homework. That way you can see and hear each other ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Not just you! Wedding planning while long distance just bites. I had many meltdowns, the worst of which just a few days before I moved cities. Communication really is better in person. You’re almost there!

Post # 8
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012


Girl you are not alone and certainly not crazy (((hugs))) – non physical conversations and wedding planning sucks!  But just think- in a short time you all will be together! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree, try skype video call! Its completely free ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


Try skype.

Post # 12
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@beebee89: maybe part of the problem is that he’s at work while you’re IMing him.  You may be more dialed in and he’s multi-tasking with work and not really reading what you’re writing him.  We were LD for 3 years so it does get frustrating.  Skype never worked for us because the connection was bad, and after 2.5 years on the phone, we really didn’t like skype.  On the phone you can move around, pee, fold clothes, etc, but it seems like on skype you kinda have to be there.  can you spend more time on the phone and less on the computer? 

Post # 15
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We run into this problem. I will say one thing and he will think I’m cranky or vice versa. I can’t wait until this wait is over. 7 months!!

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