Don’t feel bad or guilty over your feelings. This is a tough situation! I was there myself for a while too! Everyone around me was getting engaged and married, and it was all that I could think about or talk about to my fiance. He would just get annoyed and say that he didn’t want to discuss it, and even though I was who he wanted to marry, he knew he wasn’t ready yet. Which REALLLLY annoyed me even more!! LOL He would get so awkward when the subject came up that I finally just DROPPED it for an entire year. I REFUSED to discuss weddings or babies or anything, even if he instigated it. I know. Childish. But he finally got a dose of his own medicine. It wasn’t until a job took him out of the city for a while and we were apart for an extended amount of time that he realized, I want to lock this down!! (In looking back, he said it was being apart that he needed in order to really feel “ready” to commit, in order to truly gain perspective on the right timing.) He began shopping for rings while we were both working on opposite coasts, unbeknownst to me. He even kept up the charade of “I’m not ready, blah blah” in order to TRULY shock me when he proposed. Um…why are guys so dumb?! LOL. Yes, you would shock me by proposing out of the blue when you’ve told me you aren’t ready, and you would be shocking me in NOT a good way! haha. Somehow, I caught wind that the engagement was coming, and the STRANGEST thing happened…I realized when the engagement became a reality, that IIIIII wasn’t quite ready!!! Can you believe that? There were so many details we hadn’t worked out about our future, and felt I couldn’t fully say yes until we had discussed those items. Luckily, he was very understanding of my request for more time, postponed the “surprise” engagement plans, and fully surprised me two months later on New Year’s Eve. And it was perfect! 🙂 So…the moral of the story is:
1. You never know what your guy might have up his sleeve haha
2. Distance, or time apart can really make you realize what you have, and that you don’t want to lose it.
3. Really explore your own feelings and think to yourself, if he were to get down on one knee TODAY, would I have ANY questions, hesitations, or unfinished business that would need to be settled before committing.
4. Be as patient as you can, and maybe try to focus your energy on anything that is NON-wedding related? It’s so HARD to be patient, but when it happens, the wait will have been worth it! And of course, once you are engaged, there will be friends that might get engaged after you, and still beat you to the altar (like some of mine!) and that can be frustrating, but just focus on WHY you are getting married, and that should trump all! 🙂
Best of luck! You’re not alone in this!