(Closed) Mixed feelings

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.  I totally understand why you’d be frustrated and worried!

Maybe it’s too soon, but at some point could you write her a quick – “I’m super excited for your wedding!  I just wanted to check, since our wedding is one week later, do you think you’ll be able to make it to our rehearsal dinner and wedding?  I ask because you’re one of my very best friends and I’m really hoping you can be there!”  Something to that effect… just to get answers.  Because really, you have valid questions! 

Post # 4
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, I think you’ll hear this over and over, and it will come off as less-than-supportive, but it’s worth hearing, in your request for the unbiased:

You get a day. You don’t get to reserve the days/weeks/months surrounding your wedding.

This sort of thing is disappointing, but it does happen all the time. It doesn’t sound like your friend was trying to “steal your thunder” or anything–it sounds like it really was logistics. I would also be bummed if my best friend couldn’t make it to my wedding because of a honeymoon, but maybe she’s not going immediately after the wedding? If she’s a close friend, then perhaps you should ask her before feeling preemptively disappointed!

And my best advice is if you can’t change your fate, change your attitude. Look upon this as a blessing–not everyone has close friends that are willing to talk about flowers and cake and stuff 24/7 and you do. You have people who will understand and comiserate over RSVP bungholes and you might even have chicas to spend time tying bows on 200+ invitations while you sip wine and watch girly flicks. It’s okay to be upset for a bit, but try to remind yourself: weddings are joyful and I promise you that if you approach her wedding with joy, you’ll feel more upbeat about your own. And in the end, what they say is true: a wedding really is just one day. Your friendships are forever.


Post # 7
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012


  I can understand your feelings. It’s not necessarily a jealousy thing. You were excited to share this time with them, and you’re concerned that one of your good friends may not be able to be there to share it with you.

  I would definitely take some time to think out what you want to say. Sometimes, I just need to write things out on paper.

Post # 8
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Bryant2be:  the main thing is whether or not she will be around for your wedding.  right?  before you get too worked up over this, why don’t you ask her if she will be back from her honeymoon in time for your rehearsal.  do you really need her around that whole week?

like pp said, you get a day.  unfortunately, her preferred venue has limited space.  it’s her prerogative to have her wedding on whatever day she choses.  unfortunately, it’s a week prior to yours.

Post # 9
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I assumed this person was IN your wedding…?  If she’s IN your wedding you have every right to ask if she’ll be around for it.  Kind of an important detail!

If she’s just a guest… then yeah, I agree with PPs that it’s not a huge deal, she’ll respond if she can attend or not once you send out invites.

The topic ‘Mixed feelings’ is closed to new replies.

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