- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2015
Hello out there! I am a fairly new member looking for some hope and perhaps guidance in the current dilemma I am going through. Before creating an account, I have read a few posts regarding the same issue of “waiting for that special moment to happen” and have to agree with most of you on the subject. It is better to wait and have that fairytale ending. However, what if you have that feeling that the proposal is going to happen and then your man guides you to a whole different path – basically shuts you down. Then having your family treat you like Tula from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” stating that you ought to not waste more than 1 year with something that may drag on to forever with sweet nothings. Unfortunately, I am beginning to lose hope and faith in any happy endings for me which is why I turned to you lovely folks for your own input.
So here is my story.
Prior to this relationship, I got out of a four year relationship after catching my ex with someone in bed while I got home from a long clinical (4pm-4am). Ever since then my family urged that I find someone that would truly love me instead of giving me the whole: “We will wait until you graduate” or “Lets be financially secure.” Well those quotes ended a four year relationship.
So now zipping to this new one. I am perfectly content with my boyfriend.It is inching close to a year for us both (April 7, 2013 is our 1 year) and he has been giving me these mixed signals. One day, he sat me down and said that he has “big plans and can’t tell me what it is because it will ruin everything.” Then when we were at a family wedding, a family member asked when he was going to get married and his response was “not anytime soon.” Then one day I gathered the strength to ask him of what he feels for weddings and laughed stating that “you just don’t marry someone who you are with for 6 months.” I kind of gaped at him but was silent. Then he added on, “Plus it is always better to be financially secure.” That is where the music went to a screehing halt. I knew I heard that line before then couldn’t help that upset feeling that washed over me.
At my age, all my friends I know are engaged to men that known them for 5 months or happily married. Everyone sets goals on what they want and my goal (without having to sound desperate) is to be at least engaged with my boyfriend. I am wanting to live that dream but what may be a dream to others is a living nightmare for me. I at least want this so that I know that the time I spend with him is worth everything (feelings and all). But somehow I fear that it will never happen despite what I have heard from him.
Before going online, I consulted my friends who already went through their dream and they told me that “you’ll just know when it happens. But what if you don’t know? What if it doesn’t seem like there is going to be another step like I wish to have with him. I cannot explain how much I love him. :’) It is just amazing being with him and being without him, I can’t deal with it.
Besides this, I met his entire family and go to several events with him. We will be hitting the ski resort with my family in two weeks in WV. Life is all good. 🙂
So what I am trying to find out is…
*Is it worth being with him?
*Does he really want to be with me or am I his last resort (he had 12 ex-girlfriends)
*Is there truly a timeframe on when it should someone propose?