(Closed) Mixed Vibes

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
45 posts
Newbee

i can understand him saying “i gots big plans!” to you and something more conservative to your family members – doesnt wanna drum up drama i guess…

is he the type to surprise you with inventive things? if so, maybe he really does have something nifty planned for you two!

 

Post # 5
Member
3057 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

i’m a bit concerned with u saying you are “perfectly content” with him…do u want to be engaged or be engaged to him? u sound a bit like u are thinking more than feeling from this post

Post # 7
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I honestly don’t think it’s on his radar.

Only you can determine if he’s worth it to you to be with.  Don’t be petty with number of ex-girlfriends and such; people tend to grow up a lot in their teens and early-mid twenties.

When I was starting to consider breaking up with some of my exes, I would ask myself, “Can I be genuinely happier without this person in my life?”  If the answer was “yes”, then I would break up with that person.  If the answer was “no”, then I would work on the relationship more.

You can certainly have a timeline in your head of what you want.  For me, I want to have two kids before 35.  If I have kid #2 at 35, then I have to get pregnant at 34.  Then I probably would have kid #1 at 32 or 33.  I’d like to have a year or two to settle into marriage, travel, have fun, etc.  So I should get married at 30.  If I want to plan a wedding right, I want a year to do it in; therefore I should get engaged at 29.

When I went over that plan with my ex, he totally freaked and said that I was being unfair (after we had been dating for around 18 months).  I was about to turn 29 at that time, and after that argument I knew that he would never marry me.  It was an incredibly freeing, easy breakup for me.  I started dating my fiance a couple months later, and we got engaged 7 months after we started dating (would have gotten engaged a lot sooner if it didn’t take us so long to get a ring).  I wouldn’t say my experience is typical, but when lighting strikes, you *definitely* know it.

If you truly want to know where he’s at on his timeline, you can ask him if he has thought about getting married with you.  And if not, then maybe he should start thinking about it.

Post # 9
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@kayteegeee:  You’re welcome!  You really do need to be clear/unambiguous when talking to guys about this stuff.  Sometimes I think some women “hint” at getting married, then wait and get frustrated while their guy is continuing on his happy clueless way. . . .

I hope all the best for you!  I’m fully aware I could be wrong and he is planning a grand proposal, but I think if you felt 100% secure in your relationship, you wouldn’t be posting here asking us what a bunch of complete strangers think.

The topic ‘Mixed Vibes’ is closed to new replies.

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