- 6 months ago
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
I am hoping you can all help me navigate a situation with my mom. For a little background, my mom is a little toxic. She is very controlling and when you disagree with her; you are automatically selfish, difficult, a sociopath and all around crazy. She literally ‘diagnonses’ people with mental disorders if they do not go along with whatever she wants all the time. If she decided the sky was purple, the sky is damn well purple and how dare you speak to your elders that way, you should respect me more since I have been alive longer and therefore know better. The fact that you are a grown ass woman means nothing you are a child because you are younger than I am.
She has already tried to railroad me into a number of decisions and I can happily say I have not yet succumbed to her. She wanted me to move our garden ceremony to a church, nope. She wanted me to have an A-line dress, not ballgown, nope. She wanted gold foil on my invites that were out of budget, nope. She tried to cut people from my guest list because she didn’t want to be forced to look at that person all night, nope. The list goes on and on and on.
This past weekend, she mentioned my Godmother will be visiting town next month as she lives a few hours away from us. This is very exciting, as I have asked my Godmother to do a reading during our ceremony and we do not get to see her very often. My mom mentioned that she would like us all to get together and go shopping for dresses for them to wear to the wedding. AND we will be sitting down and making “a bunch of decisions and changes to this whole wedding thing“. That is a direct quote.
Once I realized my mom and I would never fall on the same page with wedding choices (such as invitation style, colour scheme, etc etc) I stopped voicing my choices on most things. I just went ahead in booking vendors, choosing items and finalizing decor. I figured the fighting wasnt worth the hassle after my painstakingly self-designed invitations we “eh, just ok I guess, they would be better with gold foil, people are going to think they are cheap and not give you good gifts“. I was just tired of how unsupportive and hurtful her comments were.
So Bee’s, how to I navigate this upcoming meeting with my Godmother and Mom? Luckily my mom is always on her absolute best behavior when my Godmother is around, but I know she is going to pressure me to make a ton of changes to things I have already put deposits down on or settle for things I likely will not want.
*Note: She is not contributing a penny to the wedding, but still likes to gripe about the size of the guest list, the color scheme, and well.. EVERYTHING.
TLDR; Mother of the Bride wants to make a bunch of changes to decisions already made in wedding.