Post # 1
Question – my mother refuses to even go try on MOB dresses until a few weeks before our wedding. She is “dieting heavily” (but isn’t she always?) and wants to wait until the last minute to purchase.
But wouldn’t that make it tough on my FMIL and FSMIL, who are supposed to take their dress cues from what she is wearing? Not sure what the proper etiquette is on this. I just don’t want her stressing me out the week before the wedding because she doesn’t have a dress yet.
Post # 3
I’m sorry I can’t really help you… I haven’t been to a lot of weddings and this surprises me! I never knew that MOBs and FMILs were supposed to coordinate. I thought everyone just wore a nice dress and called it a day!!
Is your mom aware that others are taking cues from her dress choice? Are you wanting them to coordinate? Maybe your FMIL and FSMIL will want to buy their dresses earlier and your MOB can take her cue from them since she will be buying last.
Or, alternatively… just wear whatever they want and not worry about eachother? I am sure everyone will look stunning!
Post # 4
If you mom doesn’t want to go try on dresses earlier, than I would just let FMIL to choose whatever she wants to wear. Yes, traditionally the MOG waits out of courtesty to the MOB, but in this case, I don’t think its right to make her wait any longer.
Post # 5
@BeeandBeeBride27: my mom is doing the same thing, and i told her if she was going to wait that long i was going to have MOG go ahead and get her dress and MOB would have to work around what she picks. she agreed. i know it breaks tradition or whatever, but go ahead and let everyone else pick!
Post # 6
Post # 7
They don’t need to match. I’d give the other ladies the go ahead & then let your mom know what they’re wearing so their dresses don’t clash.
Post # 8
Technically they are supposed to wait until your mother picks out her dress but she kind of forfeits that “right” by refusing to get a dress early enough to allow them to get their dresses.
Post # 9
@AmyFarrahFowler: +1 yes, exactly. Tell your mom she’s stressing you out too…cause that’s just crazy. My step mom pulled something similar, but her thing was that she’s gained weight and was just really unhappy with herself and didn’t want to try on clothes. My dad enlisted one of her gf’s to take her out and they got it done.
Post # 10
The etiquette is that she is supposed to choose first. I guess if she doesn’t want to, I would tell the others ladies to go ahead and do so, if they are comfortable choosing first.
Post # 12
@BeeandBeeBride27: This is exactly what my mom is doing too (and our wedding is only 4.5 weeks away!), she hasn’t gone and tried on any dresses yet – and it’s starting to stress me out a lot. Anyways, typically the MOB gets to pick her dress first, and FMIL follows, but in our case, my mom was totally fine with FMIL picking her dress first, so that’s what we did.
I definitely feel the same worry that you are feeling, especially because I always try and get things done as early as possible and my mom is the complete opposite!
Post # 13
@BeeandBeeBride27: Her dress, her problem. If she wants to wait to buy, then the MOG and SMOG should feel free to get their own dresses – they’re not obligated and should not be aksed to wait.
Post # 14
Thanks ladies. That’s pretty much what I thought – that she is supposed to pick hers first (they don’t have to match, per se, but I don’t want them to clash) but if she’s waiting that long she has forfeited her right to first pick.
It is stressful, though. I’m very type A, and waiting till the last minute for anything stresses me out. I’ll have to talk to her about maybe getting one in August, lol. We’ll call it a compromise.
Post # 15
@peonies2: yikes!!! That is cutting it close. Time to get her behind in gear!
Post # 16
@BeeandBeeBride27: I think is more of a traditions thing as opposed to an etiquette thing. Traditionally, the MOB picks out her dress first and then the MOG picks her dress to coordinate. Personally, I think this is a very silly and outdated tradition. This definitely isn’t something anyone has to follow. I’d let her and your FMILs pick their dresses whenever it suits them. If your mom wants to wait until she’s lost more weight, then that’s fine. Your FMILs don’t need to wait for her.