(Closed) MOB Dress Inappropriate? Am I overreacting?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Am I over reacting to this dress?

    No, I would not be happy if my mom wore that to my wedding

    Yes, that dress is lovely and completely appropriate

    Eh, it is a little edgy but mostly elegant, don't make mountains out of molehills

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1559 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think it’s inappropriate…. I wouldn’t be happy and would just say let her know that I love the dress if it were lined and appropriate, but that as it is it makes you uncomfortable and that even if she loves it unlined, that you’d appreciate if she could concede and respect your wishes for this issue on your day

    Post # 33
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MsLabRat:  It would be nice… for prom. It’s a pretty dress, don’t get me wrong. and I totally understand that MOBs/MOGs don’t want to look frumpy. I just don’t think that’s appropriate for her to wear on this occasion. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @MsLabRat:  i’d sit her down and calmly explain that ‘you understand she likes the dress, but that you think tight + strapless + sheer makes the dress innapropriate for your wedding and that you’re really not comfortable with her wearing it. i’d poke a little fun at myself ‘i’m not trying to be a bridezilla!’ but i’d really prefer if you chose another dress. why don’t we go shopping saturday, have lunch at x cafe you love, and make a mother daughter day of it?’

    and then BAT THOSE LASHES!

    i think if you’re calm and firm she’ll either realise that this dress is bananas for a MOB, or she’ll at least realise that you’re being respectful and not pitching a fit so she should humour you. 

    i would have a cow – as in, give birth to an actual COW – if my mother wore that to my wedding! you’re not crazy! in fact, i’d be embarrassed to wear that in front of my mum and i’m 25 and thin :/ 

    plan b is – show her this thread. haha!

    Post # 35
    Member
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Oh dear. Some things are inappropriate for anyone to wear to a wedding.

    Post # 37
    Member
    4145 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Nope. No way would any of my family members be wearing something see through to my wedding. Especially my mother.

    Post # 38
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @MsLabRat:  There are just so many things wrong with this dress!  First, the sheer area is ridiculous.  I’m with you – those Pnina dresses are disgusting.  I can’t imagine why anyone would want to wear one.  Plus, imagine what it will look like when she sits down!

    Second, traditional etiquette (I know, I know, not everyone follows it) states that the MOB should not be wearing a strapless dress.  If she insists, I would suggest a bolero.

    Third, traditional etiquette also states that the MOB should not be wearing anything particularly shiney or flashy with lots of beading.  Now, this may be a point for compromise.  My Mom has been desperately searching for a conservative dress that adheres to traditional etiquette, and she is having a really hard time finding anything without some beading.

    I would tell your Mom how you really feel.  The last thing you want is to have your guests wondering why you’re mom is so scantily clad.  There’s a time and a place for everything.  Your wedding is not the time and place for this dress.  Good luck!

    Post # 39
    Member
    13640 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    You aren’t being crazy.  It’s ridiculous, IMO.   Since it’s your own mom, I’d tell her how you feel about it, but if she doesn’t want to hear it, it’s a reflection on her taste, not yours. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    7111 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MsLabRat:  Again, her issue, not yours. Her apparel should not be a reflection of you. I can totally understand that it would make you uncomfortable but there are plenty of things that make me uncomfortable that I have no say over and shouldn’t have a say over. And your work people will be focused on you. If I went to a coworkers wedding and her mom wore that I would roll my eyes for about 5 seconds and then forget about it. It’s not a great situation, but it’s not the end of the world. You’ll be so busy on wedding day I doubt you’ll even notice. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee

    @TroubadourTango:  Huh? What kind of ‘traditional etiquette’ states those things about MOB dresses? Nowhere I’ve ever seen or even heard, and I’ve been around a long time.

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    3848 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @MsLabRat:   Well, you wanted opinions!   Good to hear about the shawl.  The dress is stunning, it’s just the MOB thing – maybe I’m old fashioned but I think it is your day to shine.  🙂  

    Post # 43
    Member
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    It would be a lovely dress if the bodice was lined. Perhaps you can reach that compromise with your mom? Otherwise, as it is – and it was my mother – I’d be giving her the side eye and saying “I love you and I’m saying this for your own good, hell no.”

    Post # 44
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @MsLabRat:  I voted not to make a big deal. I don’t find it really that appropriate, but I don’t know if I would be ok telling my mom what to wear. It’s up to you though, just be prepared for her to dig her heels in if she really doesn’t want to switch dresses.

    Post # 45
    Member
    1878 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Your mom can line the bodice with a skin-colored panel… I think that’s a very fair comprimise!! It would be more modest then, while retaining the same look that your mom seems to like.

    I don’t think it’s too much overall, especially paired with a shawl, but I think the sheer panel is a little too risky for your first impression with your daughter’s new family. :/

    Good luck!

    Post # 46
    Member
    1364 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    The dress itself is gorgeous, but not wedding appropriate IMO! I’d think it was awesome if my mom bought that dress for another occasion, but not for the mob dress.

    at this point tho, it doesn’t look like she’s changing her mind on it anytime soon…so really what can you do?? I’m assuming she knows your thoughts on it, and if she chooses to ignore your advice/concern..there isn’t much to do is there?? 

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