Post # 1
So my mom is short (5’1″) and a plus size. She is a true apple shape – her legs are slim and carries most of the weight in her torso area so she doesn’t have an hourglass figure. Because of this, I know she isn’t comfortable in her body and is absolutely dreading having to find a dress for my September wedding. I mentioned us going shopping for it together when the time comes and she is not really willing to I think mainly due to image issues and being worried that nothing will look good.
I totally understand where she is coming from because although I’m far from being a plus sized bride, I was worried that none of the wedding dresses would look good on me when I went shopping.
In any case, I really want to make this a positive and exciting period for her and I would love for her to look and feel great on the day of. Has anyone faced a similar situation or does anyone have tips as to what I could do to make her feel better?
Post # 3
You are so sweet to be so considerate of your momma’s feelings! If I were you, I’d make a whole day of shopping — maybe you can get coffee and get a manicure or a pedicure that day too. Those always make us women feel a little bit better about ourselves!
Where were you planning to shop? Could you call some places ahead of time and explain the situation and make sure they have some dresses there that, even if they aren’t your mom’s exact size, would be something she could try on to get a feel for how things are going to look?
And don’t forget, the alterations that are done after the dress comes in will help a lot to reassure her of fit and look.
I feel like this is a pretty common dilemma for mommas of the bride (and groom). But I know you can help her get through it and actually enjoy it, and even more importantly, find a dress that she feels fabulous in!
Post # 4
Depending on where you go, there might be a personal shopper who could pull dresses that would compliment her figure and stature ahead of time. That might make it better? It is sweet of you to try to make this a really positive experience for her.
Post # 5
I’d let her go alone to try on some things first and then maybe take you back if she finds something she really likes or is unsure about. I hated shopping for my dresses, but would have hated it even more if my daughters were watching. I had very helpful salespeople bringing in dresses for me, and it was much easier when it was with strangers.
She’ll be fine once she finds a few that interest her.
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@DeeVine1217: I shop often with my mom who also has body issues. My two tips are DON’T go shopping all day, after trying on so many things that don’t work out your confidence is zero and it’s time to go home.
And DON’T put it off until the last minute, it sounds like she’s trying to do that and to find the right thing you may have to do some work.
I shopped online with my mom, we ordered 3 dresses and returned all but 1 which is perfect! She is now very excited about wearing it!
Post # 7
You are describing my mom – except my mom is slightly taller at 5’3″. She opted for a shorter dress (knee length) because the long dresses just made her look shorter. My mom also likes that there is a jacket, but its not too matronly.
My mom is wearing a dress similar to this –
Post # 8
@DeeVine1217: I agree with PP, I would only go to one salon for your first shopping trip that way the experience isn’t overwhelming. I would also recommend that you call the shop ahead and make sure they carry dresses in and around your mom’s size. it might be helpful for your mom to get a corset to wear when trying on gowns that way she can get a better sense of how the dress will look on her. Also, maybe an option is looking for a dress that has a corseted back with a modesty panel to help give your mom more of an hour glass shape. I think that if she wears a bolero jacket with her gown it could look really nice with a bolero jacket. Finally, do not underestimate the power of asymmetrical fabric draping or ruching! It totally slims the body down. Good luck!
Post # 9
@ItWasntMe: I think this is what she would prefer to do, which I am fine with!
@MLDoddie: I love that dress, it’s super classy without looking matronly!
@ArtDecoLisa: Thanks for the advice ladies! I realize that pressuring her to bring me may not be the best way to go if she doesn’t want me to be there. I told her that I would like to share the experience with her so whenever she is ready, I can be there!