Post # 1
I am fairly new but I feel the need to say this. It is a bit of a vent.
It is really annoying to click on a thread and see that people are being mean to individuals and not responding to the OP. If you do not agree with someone that is fine, but attacking them only draws away from the original post.
Even after the attacked person has clearly left people continue to take over the thread to berate them. It makes me afraid sometimes to even go against the mob because I don’t know if I could take being ganged up on.
It really takes away from people feeling like they can share their stories.
So in the future:
(1) share your opinions freely, but keep them OP related. Stop attacking people for trying to respond to the OP.
(2) if you must talk to a pp negatively, start a new thread or pm them. pm is great for not taking threads off track.
(3) the mob mentality of piling on is so middle school. We are grown, there is no need.
(4) in general, we all want our opinions respected, so respect that other people see the world differently than you do.
well I feel better. thanks!
Post # 3
@tangentialbee: I think you stated this very well. I agree, but don’t be afraid to go against the grain on threads. I don’t mean be rude to a PP but express your true feelings to the OP even if it ruffles feathers. Does it make it awkward if you get attacked, yeah, but you forget about it and move on. I do strongly agree with PMing or starting another thread.
Post # 4
I used to moderate a board about this size with a team of 3. I agree with you on this, but you cannot tell people what to do and you can have the best intentions…but people are gonna do whatever the heck they want anyway. :/ I mean, banning is an option but there will always be someone else.
I’ve noticed in the few months I’ve been here that it flares up real bad with the flaming, attacking, and snark, and then it kind of goes away for a little bit. It’s weird.
Post # 6
@sealevels: It’s like we all PMS at the same time(; JK
Post # 7
@figgnewton: I know it probably won’t change but a girl can hope! It is crazy to me sometimes how people act when they feel anonymous. Like would they be such bullies if we knew who they were? Then, the same people complain that they are losing/never had friends. It is no wonder with behavior like that.
@sealevels: I don’t agree with censorship but I think we are old enough not to beat someone up because we dislike their opinion.
@figgnewton: haha we are syncing up! That must be it! It is like some of us sit and wait for specific users who we love attacking. Must be the hormones!
Post # 8
Post # 9
in response to your point number 3, you’re talking to a bunch of grown WOMEN. I never expected anything different.
Post # 10
Oh I havn’t been on here for that long, but this is something that has never really seemed to change. I think the best advice I can give you is to not be afraid to go against the mob and just state your opinion. If someone decides to insult you, I wouldn’t even respond. Don’t get offended, it is just strangers on the internet, who cares right? When somebody asks a question that they swear is in no way starting a debate “I am just curious”, I think oh boy here we go. It just causes the thread to go in circles for 10 pages. I am all for constructive criticism (I have been educated by quite a few Bees on here), but sometimes the comments can be a bit mean and/or melodramatic. This is only my opinion though and something that I had to learn the hard way.
Post # 11
Yeah, I agree. I think people should state what they feel and if they feel the need to correct someone else, then go ahead. But there is a way to go about it where you don’t have to be a total jerk. Some people don’t seem to know how to state their opinions without being rude about it, it seems….
Post # 12
@YogaFaerie: Oh, I should have added “an getting angry that someone uses a word you don’t like the sound of is such a waste of time”.
Just because a word means one thing in the south doesn’t mean in the north (or another country) it isn’t totally harmless.
@strawbs: Eee, the thought that that could be true makes me sad. Very sad.
@Cady: hehe this thread is really giving me some cajones. I’m about to put my opinions all in you gal’s faces. They will smell like cheese.
Post # 13
100% agreed. I have been personally attacked SEVERAL times.I love the bee and the positive support I get 90% of the time but the other 10% I really just want to delete my account.
Post # 14
To be honest i tend to disagree. I have been on the site for a year and a half and while sometime yes there is bickering, for the most part people are pretty chill around here.
Sometimes i find people dont like to hear the truth if they have acted inappropriately or whatever.
Post # 15
@Swizzle: I agree with this. sometimes I see people who post things about inappropriate behavior and then get upset when others respond telling them that yeah they were stupid for doing that. what else are we supposed to say? Flower it up for them and make them feel better about what they did?
I think not.
Post # 16
I think some people need to re read what they type before hitting submit. Theres a right way to say that you dislike something and a rude way.
Big difference between saying “yellow doesnt look good on me or fit my vision so I would perfer to avoid that colour as much as possible”
Compated to “yellow is hedious. I dont know why people think its a wedding colour when its so clearly NOT”