(Closed) (CLOSED) Mob Mentality on the Bee

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: Have you noticed threads being hijacked on the bee?
    yes : (147 votes)
    59 %
    no : (76 votes)
    31 %
    I love when that happens! : (26 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 138
    Member
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    OP, 

    perhaps Internet forums aren’t for you.

    just a subtle reminder that trying to control people’s behavior on the Internet is like trying to tell the wind which direction to blow: frustrating, and ultimately unsuccessful. It’s generally better to either accept that it is a windy day, or go indoors.

    Post # 139
    Member
    3682 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @fishbone:  +1

    You are one of my favorite posters. Just thought you should know.

    Post # 140
    Member
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Rubbs:  The bunch of women in one room.  Like women are all the same, and we can’t control our behavior.  Fuck that.  If we’re going to accept comments like that, then we should also say…you know what happens when you get bunches of men in a room!  WAR, DESTRUCTION OF WOMEN’S RIGHTS, PERPETUATION OF RAPE CULTURE, etc.  All men are not like that, and all women are not gossipy twits.

    Post # 141
    Member
    8470 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @peachacid:  Well you must be glad you got that off your chest, huh!? Yell

    Post # 142
    Member
    5219 posts
    Bee Keeper

    There are posters responding to this very thread that have had disagreements with me and I with them and we “get along” just fine. Disagreements happen,  they can be healthy and they also are apart of life. Learning how to accept differing opinions and also articulate your own is a pretty useful life skill.

    BUT, learning the rules and hitting your stride on the internet can take time. This was my first forum to ever join,  and I’ve been here a couple years now. I’ve participated in nice,  happy,  snarky, sad, emotional and every kind of thread that you can come up with. It did take me a while to figure out the community,  and I find it to be an overall enjoyable one. 

     

     

    Post # 143
    Member
    11231 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Hyperventilate:  I have mixed feelings about this. I wouldn’t say there is a “mob mentality” here because I see a lot of people just having a lot of similar opinions, and thus it seems like a mob.

    It’s also another “be careful what you ask for” sort of thing. If you’re not prepared to hear things you don’t want to hear, do not ask the question. It’s as simple as that. Not everyone is going to hug you, pat your bottom and tell you everything you want to hear. If you have that sort of expectation from this forum and/or life, you need a serious reality check.

    AGREEEEEEEEEED.

    @j_jaye: Also agreeing with this.

    I read this thread yesterday and couldn’t figure out what in the world your goal was, OP. You either don’t understand how unforced, organic discussion works, or you’re still way too new here to get the hang of posting on a message board.

    Post # 145
    Member
    609 posts
    Busy bee

    @fishbone:  The issue is, when a poster replies to the OP and her opinion is not liked by another poster, they are attacked. Instead of responding to the OP, they decide they need to give ettiquitte lessons to the secondary poster. 

     

    They are indeed, trying to control someone’s opinion and/or behavior. 

    Post # 146
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee

    I havent read the whole thread yet but since I have spoken with the OP about how another thread went a while ago I think I get what she means.

    I personally don’t really care when people attack me. If I feel like arguing that day, I will. If I don’t I will leave. Usually if you reply directly to me but I dont want to take over a thread I will pm a person. Usually if they were sincere in their thoughts, they respond and we have a dialogue. If they were only in it for a show and spectacle they wont.

    I also enjoy watching threads melt down. Even my own when I am bored. For instance I know that my impatience and unwillingness to adhere to gender role annoys some people. So if I post about my situation, it almost always pisses off the “but he’s the MANNNNN, wait quietly” crowd.

    In the end I get where OP is coming from and agree that we could all try to stay on topic or try not to make situations worse more often. Will it happen? no of course not

    Post # 147
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @SoupyCat:  As a matter of fact, I think you and I have had disagreements before! Doesn’t mean I don’t like to hear your opinion though…keeps things interesting 🙂

    Post # 148
    Member
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    @JoolyBee:  Absolutely! In fact, i’m sure I disagree with so many bees I couldn’t possibly keep track of who they all are (and after 3000 posts, I’d be crazy to try). But that certainly doesn’t mean I dislike others or that we can’t agree on another thread Smile

    Post # 149
    Member
    13095 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @Swizzle:  “To be honest i tend to disagree. I have been on the site for a year and a half and while sometime yes there is bickering, for the most part people are pretty chill around here. 

    Sometimes i find people dont like to hear the truth if they have acted inappropriately or whatever.”

    I agree.  I have been on this site a long time (almost 3 years) and posted to a lot of threeads.  With a few exceptions, it is typically pretty chill around here and most of the drama is due to someone wanting validation for a thought or action and getting mad when they don’t get it.

    Post # 150
    Member
    1357 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I agree with PP’s that the Bee has, in general, been a supportive and helpful environment for me, tangential topics and varying opinions included. I really enjoy the conversation and appreciate the advice and points of view that are presented here. I think the Terms of Service and their enforcement do a good enough job of keeping the boards from becoming a negative environment without the need to create a separate thread about it.

    I also think the mods do a great job of controlling the situation when it gets sticky, because the Bee is not 100% snark-free like any place on the internet. And there’s definitely a difference between snark and voicing another opinion, and between thread jacking and tangence. In fact, the only time I’m a bit critical of modding is when it seems too heavy handed in stemming the flow of opinions, especially when it results in the ban of tenured Bees (UpStateCait comes to mind, along with a few others, though obviously I can’t know all the details of their leaving).

    The topic ‘(CLOSED) Mob Mentality on the Bee’ is closed to new replies.

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