- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2010
A very interesting read for fencesitters, and those who just aren’t feeling the desire to have kids but think they should be feeling it.
In particular, I thought some fencesitters (both former and past) could relate to the author’s statement: “deep down I didn’t want children, but I kept limping toward motherhood anyway“.
I am now very much childfree, but I know that pinged something for me, as I was not officially (and comfortably) childfree until I was about 30 or so and for over a decade I considered myself (again, like the author and her husband) as “ambivalent” about children. I often recall thinking I hoped time (or biology) would run out…my body would decide for me I could NOT have them as it would make it all so much easier for me. While, unlike the author, I never even tried to have children, I did feel for some time that was some sort of inevitable end, like the author I had also been told and believed to some degree “I would instinctually know when the time was right”.
For me, it turned out my instinct spoke very strongly against having children, once I started listening (and allowing myself to listen) to it! I took action to indeed make sure my body would not allow me to have them as I had often hoped for, via sterilization, and it was freeing.