(Closed) MOG Dress Etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m sorry she’s being difficult, is there any way you can compromise and let her wear black, so at least she won’t be sticking out so much?

Post # 4
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@tarayohe:  That’s an obnoxious situation. My Future Mother-In-Law asked to see my mom’s dress so she could coordinate. My mom is wearing a long, royal blue, chiffon dress and Future Mother-In-Law chose a short, satin, pale pink dress. I figured it’s just not worth the energy to worry about it.

Post # 5
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

From my understanding, the MOB picks out her dress and the MOG picks out something to compliment it in color and fancyness.


Besides, she will hardly be in any pictures that the whole wedding party is in. Our colors were pink, brown, and white with the BM’s being brown and white. My mom wore a silver/gray knee length dress and my Mother-In-Law wore a black diamond studded blouse with a long black skirt.

Post # 6
13295 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are correct in your assumption of MOG coordinating the style and formality of her dress with the MOB.  In your case, though, I’d just let her do what she wants, as long as it’s not the color of the bridal party.  If she doesn’t wear a long dress, that’s her own fault, and she’s the one who will look silly, not you.

Post # 7
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have NO IDEA what FI’s mom is wearing. We don’t speak. If she shows up in something rediculous, I won’t be bothered by it. She won’t be in that many photos anyway (I’m not taking any pics with her).

Post # 8
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s fine if she wears black. No one’s going to mistsake her for a bridesmaid. Plus, most of your guests are going to likely wear black to an evening wedding – hope you don’t expect them to not wear black! I think that’s kind of what you get when you choose black as a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress color. 

Also, even if you’re having a black tie wedding, dressy cocktail length dresses are appropriate.  I don’t think you should stress about what she is wearing – it’s only going to reflect poorly on her if she dresses inappropriately.

Post # 9
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@tarayohe:  While it’s true that the MOG should wear something that complements the MOB’s dress, I think you’re being too narrow in what you consider “complementary.” Unless you are having a white tie affair, cocktail length dresses can be equally appropriate as long gowns. I also think your choices of color are a bit arbitrary. Purple is fairly close to burgundy on the color wheel. It’s not like your Future Mother-In-Law is wearing something that completely clashes like orange or yellow. If I were you, I’d see what she actually picks out before I get all up in arms about her dress choice.

Post # 10
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@tarayohe:   tricky.  I don’t think it would look bad if she wore black, if anything it would help her NOT stick out in photos from every one.

Post # 11
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

i’d let it roll off your back… at teh end of the day.. no body will be looking at her, you are the star of the day… and my mil looked like a horses ass in what she wore.. but nobody noticed, because the day wasn’t about her

Post # 12
3152 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@tarayohe:  let her wear what she wants. This is not something for your worry list. 

Post # 13
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

As I understand etiquette the MOG is supposed to let the MOB choose her dress first and complement her but my Future Mother-In-Law went ahead and purcahsed her dress with no consultation, chose a hideous colour that will clash with the whole bridal party, the outfit is completely inapporipate for a destination wedding in a humid tropical environment and my mother and Future Mother-In-Law together will resemble a mardigra in colour but hey its not worth getting upset or worrying about it! It will be something to laugh about in 10 years time.

Post # 14
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I just let her wear what she wants.

Otherwise it could cause too much stress and tension which you don’t need.  

I’d say not worth the fight!!

Post # 15
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would let her wear whatever she wants.  I don’t think it’s necessary for her to coordinate with anyone or consult with anyone about what she wears as long as it’s appropriate for the occassion.  Black, purple, or any other color except white work.

My mom cerntainly never had a conversation with DH’s mom about what they would be wearing.  And I had no idea what DH’s mother chose to wear until she showed up on the day of the wedding.  Neither of our mothers wore colors that coordinated with our wedding and it was just fine.

Post # 16
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve really never understood why people want the moms to coordinate – they won’t be on the same side or in the same family pictures, why does it matter? Even if it does though, burgundy and purple go together, so I’m still not really seeing the problem. My MIL’s dress was shorter than my mom’s but still a fine length, it wasn’t ridiculously short or anything, about knee length. My mom’s was long. I thought they both looked nice. I doubt she’s doing it to be difficult, she just wants to wear what she likes…and she likes purple, I don’t see anything wrong with that.

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