Post # 1
Our wedding colors are black, burgundy, and ivory. The bridesmaids and groomsmen will be in all black with Burgundy flowers. Since we didn’t have a whole lot of burgundy in the wedding, my mom chose to go with a Burgundy dress (deep deep red, no hints of purple what-so-ever). I had a conversation with my Future Mother-In-Law and showed her the dress that my mother had bought, and she proceeds to say “I think I want to wear black”. I POLITELY remind her that the bridesmaids and brial party are wearing black and that I’d rather her wear something that compliments my mom (like I thought she was supposed to). She then says, “okay, well I’ll wear purple then”. It’s a night wedding, very elegant and formal, and she also proceeds to say “and I’m not wearing a gown, I want to wear something short”.
From my understanding, the MOB picks out her dress and the MOG picks out something to compliment it in color and fancyness. My fiance talked to her about it and she basically said she’s not budging. She’s going to stick out on the wedding day and I feel like she’s just doing it to be difficult.
Oh, did I mention her favorite color is purple and EVERYTHING she owns and wears is purple?!
And for the record, if I had to “choose” a color for her, it’d be silver, gold, gray (of any shade) or navy blue.
Post # 3
I’m sorry she’s being difficult, is there any way you can compromise and let her wear black, so at least she won’t be sticking out so much?
Post # 4
@tarayohe: That’s an obnoxious situation. My Future Mother-In-Law asked to see my mom’s dress so she could coordinate. My mom is wearing a long, royal blue, chiffon dress and Future Mother-In-Law chose a short, satin, pale pink dress. I figured it’s just not worth the energy to worry about it.
Post # 5
From my understanding, the MOB picks out her dress and the MOG picks out something to compliment it in color and fancyness.
Besides, she will hardly be in any pictures that the whole wedding party is in. Our colors were pink, brown, and white with the BM’s being brown and white. My mom wore a silver/gray knee length dress and my Mother-In-Law wore a black diamond studded blouse with a long black skirt.
Post # 6
You are correct in your assumption of MOG coordinating the style and formality of her dress with the MOB. In your case, though, I’d just let her do what she wants, as long as it’s not the color of the bridal party. If she doesn’t wear a long dress, that’s her own fault, and she’s the one who will look silly, not you.
Post # 7
I have NO IDEA what FI’s mom is wearing. We don’t speak. If she shows up in something rediculous, I won’t be bothered by it. She won’t be in that many photos anyway (I’m not taking any pics with her).
Post # 8
I think it’s fine if she wears black. No one’s going to mistsake her for a bridesmaid. Plus, most of your guests are going to likely wear black to an evening wedding – hope you don’t expect them to not wear black! I think that’s kind of what you get when you choose black as a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress color.
Also, even if you’re having a black tie wedding, dressy cocktail length dresses are appropriate. I don’t think you should stress about what she is wearing – it’s only going to reflect poorly on her if she dresses inappropriately.
Post # 9
@tarayohe: While it’s true that the MOG should wear something that complements the MOB’s dress, I think you’re being too narrow in what you consider “complementary.” Unless you are having a white tie affair, cocktail length dresses can be equally appropriate as long gowns. I also think your choices of color are a bit arbitrary. Purple is fairly close to burgundy on the color wheel. It’s not like your Future Mother-In-Law is wearing something that completely clashes like orange or yellow. If I were you, I’d see what she actually picks out before I get all up in arms about her dress choice.
Post # 10
@tarayohe: tricky. I don’t think it would look bad if she wore black, if anything it would help her NOT stick out in photos from every one.
Post # 11
i’d let it roll off your back… at teh end of the day.. no body will be looking at her, you are the star of the day… and my mil looked like a horses ass in what she wore.. but nobody noticed, because the day wasn’t about her
Post # 12
@tarayohe: let her wear what she wants. This is not something for your worry list.
Post # 13
As I understand etiquette the MOG is supposed to let the MOB choose her dress first and complement her but my Future Mother-In-Law went ahead and purcahsed her dress with no consultation, chose a hideous colour that will clash with the whole bridal party, the outfit is completely inapporipate for a destination wedding in a humid tropical environment and my mother and Future Mother-In-Law together will resemble a mardigra in colour but hey its not worth getting upset or worrying about it! It will be something to laugh about in 10 years time.
Post # 14
I just let her wear what she wants.
Otherwise it could cause too much stress and tension which you don’t need.
I’d say not worth the fight!!
Post # 15
I would let her wear whatever she wants. I don’t think it’s necessary for her to coordinate with anyone or consult with anyone about what she wears as long as it’s appropriate for the occassion. Black, purple, or any other color except white work.
My mom cerntainly never had a conversation with DH’s mom about what they would be wearing. And I had no idea what DH’s mother chose to wear until she showed up on the day of the wedding. Neither of our mothers wore colors that coordinated with our wedding and it was just fine.
Post # 16
I’ve really never understood why people want the moms to coordinate – they won’t be on the same side or in the same family pictures, why does it matter? Even if it does though, burgundy and purple go together, so I’m still not really seeing the problem. My MIL’s dress was shorter than my mom’s but still a fine length, it wasn’t ridiculously short or anything, about knee length. My mom’s was long. I thought they both looked nice. I doubt she’s doing it to be difficult, she just wants to wear what she likes…and she likes purple, I don’t see anything wrong with that.