(Closed) MOG wants to wear a Prom Dress/ Ballgown to the wedding!

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Just give up and let her wear the dang thing?
    YES : (86 votes)
    54 %
    NO : (74 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 3
    4771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d let it go.  At this point the more you tell her not to do something the more she will want to do it like a teenager.  No one wants to be told no. 

    I don’t think you need to worry about her outshining you, that is imporssible and in the end it’ll look bad on her not on you or your fam.  She doesn’t need to match your mother either.  Some things you just cannot control and that is people’s outfits.  My aunt wore a gaudy huge tiara to her son’s wedding.  She was the one who looked like a clown and it didn’t effect the couple.

    Post # 4
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    oh dear, to be honest the only one who will look silly is her, can you post a pic of the dress she wants to wear?

    Post # 5
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it’s fine to let her wear whatever she wants. Also, there is something to be said for her coming from a different cultural background. Many Eastern European cultures love sparkle. I took a German course with a Russian girl who dresed like she should be in a music video on to attend classes each day, I can only imagine what she would wear to a wedding.

    Post # 6
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I agree to just let it go. She’s the one who is going to look ridiculous, not you. No matter how similar her dress is to yours, there is no way she’s going to be mistaken for the bride.

    Maybe compromise with her and tell her she can wear a fancy gown as long as it is not a ballgown?

    Post # 7
    13014 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I like zippylef‘s idea of the compromise to let her wear a fancy gown, just not one quite as similar as your dress.  Good luck!  

    Post # 8
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I felt like I was reading my own story.  My Future Mother-In-Law is trying to look over the top and wants dropped waist poof and even considering a few prom gowns.  All I’m thinking is “c’mon woman”. 

    If your Future Mother-In-Law is anything like mine you’re not going to get your way here.   No matter what we say its not going to sink in without causing a rift of some sort.  Has your Fiance stepped in?  If he told her that he would be upset with her for having a production of a dress compared to yours it might mellow her down a bit.

    Just remember you won’t be the one who looks ridiculous.

    Post # 9
    689 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My Grandpa’s wife is Romanian so I know a little bit of where she is coming from. Let her do the sparkle, insist she drop the strapless and poof. A little poof would be fine, but there is no way strapless is appropriate for someone 50+ years old. You can do spangly, elegant, and non-matronly easily.

    Post # 10
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Honestly, I’d let this one go.  I completely understand why you’re upset, but you’re not going to win here.  She’s either going to wear the dress she wants or she’s going to drive you insane by complaining that she didn’t get to wear the dress she wanted to wear.  

    No one will confuse you with her.  If she’s overdressed and silly looking, it will reflect on her; not you and certainly not your mom.

    Post # 11
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I went to a weding recently where the MOG wore a VERY low cut sequined see through in parts dress – she looked ridiculous and did not out shine the bride nor any other guest – she just looked a total idiot and everybody was laughing at her behind her back. She even bought another outfit to wear at the reception which was just as bad – even the bride didnt change for the reception. She obviously wanted to be the centre of attention and for every1 to comment on what she was wearing – she just looked like a fool and yes every1 commented on what she wore – behind her back and I dont think she would of liked what they were saying lol! I wouldnt worry about it, I would just let her wear what she wants and if she wants to look stupid let her…all eyes will be on you 

    Post # 12
    1568 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would just let her wear what she wants. You will still be the center of attention regardless of what your Future Mother-In-Law wears.

    Post # 13
    2693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    Maybe I’m just a bitch, but I think the dress you’ve described sounds really inappropriate.  I wouldn’t budge on not wanting her to outshine you or your mom.  Especially if your parents are hosting this, your mom should stand out as the honored host of her daughters wedding.  Your Future Mother-In-Law sounds like a brat, and for me, that makes me want to accomodate people even less.  If it’s cultural, let her wear sequins, but she needs to get over the poof and the strapless gown.  I hate how this is going to sound, but she needs to be put in her place about who is the center of attention that day, which is you and your future husband.  I wouldn’t let my Future Mother-In-Law get away with it, even if dropping it meant less headache for me.  I think you should stand your ground and if you feel as though she’s trying to be a difficult bratty, immature person and outshine your and your mom, you shouldn’t let her.  Compromise, but make it known that nothing she’s going to wear is going to compare to your dress, nor should it totally outshine your mother. Again, just my opinion.  If that sounds bitchy, I’m sorry.  I have an odd, difficult, and sometimes tactless Future Mother-In-Law so I have a bad taste in my mouth for people like that.

    Post # 14
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I would let it go. Just let her do whatever she wants, in the end she is the one that will look ridiculous.

    My Mother-In-Law was the opposite for our wedding. My mother had a lovely evening gown in a deep purple (our colors were purple, green, silver/grey) and my Mother-In-Law showed up in a LEATHER pencil skirt and a red sweater. One of my bms gasped when she saw her. In the end my Mother-In-Law has said she should have dressed up more to match my mom (she originally had a grey evening gown picked out…no clue what happened to it).

    Post # 15
    189 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @ yellowshoe-  LOL!  OMG. Sorry, the part about the bridesmaid gasping is hilarious. 

    Who are all these people??  Tiaras?  Prom dresses?  Is it crazy to anyone else that there are so many MILs who think its ok to dress like this? 

    Post # 16
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I wouldn’t worry about it…she will definitely not outshine you. She will just showcase herself as a complete and total idiot which will make you look even better! 🙂

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