(Closed) MOG wants to wear jeans?? **vent**

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s not wrong of you at all! Dress pants cost like, $8 at Walmart. Have you ever seen her dressed up at all? Could you just suggest that she wears something that she already owns so you can guide her choice? 

I would guess that your FI’s right, and she’s just trying to be a ____ (I’m trying not to cuss on the boards, but you can fill it in!).

Post # 4
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh,my. I don’t even know what to say. I thought I’d heard them all!

Post # 5
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

If you have a standard dress code expected fo your guests (which most weddings do) than of course you are ebing reasonable. Who shows up to a wedding in jeans?? I’ve never heard of that even at a “fun” summer wedding in the park. I think it’s disrespectful for her to even ask. Has she never been to a wedding before??

Kudos to you for being calm. That’s the best thing to do…just stay calm! everything will work out. Try sending her an email or something with a couple of links to places near by where she can purchase wedding appropriate clothing. If she wants to play the whole, “I don’t know where to shop” card then kill her with kindness and “sweetly” suggest where she can. Say it with a smile, “I heard you needed help finding somewhere to shop. I know of a couple great stores…and look here there are in your city…” Aweee what a sweet FDIL you’ll look like (hehe).

Post # 6
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Maybe you could take her shopping and show her how to dress for her body type? That might be fun for both of you, and then you’d get to have some say over what she wears.

Post # 7
520 posts
Busy bee

One of two things……

It’s a power play type thing for her  OR

She rarely dresses up and simply does not know where to look for appropriate attire.  I suggest what some of the other posters have already stated.  Offer to go with her shopping.  Doesn’t have to be an expensive place….JC Penney, Sears, etc…….even WalMart would have appropriate attire. 

Does she have an odd body type that finding clothing is difficult or a chore or her?  Does she have a medical condition that tires her out or makes it difficult for her to shop?  Does she ever dress up and possibly have an outfit in her closet she could wear?      

Post # 8
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Maggie Mae: Definitely seems like a power play to me. It’s not like she isn’t up on the latest 2010 wedding trends…this woman knows not to wear jeans to her son’s wedding.

@Cassie_KY: I’d let your Fiance steer her in the right direction and you keep out of her path on this one. Hopefully he’s not a total mama’s boy 😉 Maybe this is just one of those things that drives you to brink of insanity in the weeks before the wedding but one you can laugh about as soon as it’s over. I know I experienced some of that!


Post # 9
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Honestly I totally understand why you’re upset, but this is something I’d just let go. Besides a polite warning that she might feel underdressed in jeans, I would just let her humiliate herself if that’s what she wants to do.

Speaking from experience, the parents are only in a few photos overall: family portrait, mother/son father/daughter dance, and most likely those aren’t the photos that will be framed in your household or office anyway. Plus, it’s not like the Mother-In-Law walks you down teh aisle, I actually had to make a point to specifically spend some time with my Mother-In-Law on the wedding day since there wasn’t anything set aside for us to be together.

Post # 10
365 posts
Helper bee

I know you are frustrated by this, but I would agree with the PP and have Fiance explain to her that jeans would be a bit underdressed, and then have you call her seperately and tell her that you want her to be comfortable, simple black slacks or something similar would be fine, and offer to go shop with her if she uses the excuse that she doesn’t know where to find clothes.  If she doesn’t accept your offer, let it go.  But I would put the “no jeans” on Fiance to tell her for sure.

With my wedding, it will be a bit funny I’m sure.  In FI’s family (they are…uhm…country folks), they rarely ever dress up and not all family members even own dressy clothes.  When there is a wedding or a big event, they all swap dresses and shirts and ties and there are always a few people who come in jeans.  One person showed up in a nasty tshirt, baseball hat, jean shorts, and work boots to his cousin’s wedding this year.  My family is the opposite and is very formal and will be super dressed up in suits and dresses for sure.  I’ve decided to have Fiance pass out the “no jeans” preference by word of mouth and then just let it go.  He is worried that my family will judge his for it and that he will be embarassed, but I think my family has the grace not to be rude.  I have decided to just accept that we will have an odd mix of guests at our wedding.  If they love us, they can accept it too.

Post # 11
683 posts
Busy bee

At least she doesn’t want to wear jorts? Laughing 

Post # 13
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Well at least she is the one that will look silly in jeans and it wont reflect poorly on you at all. 

Post # 14
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Why would anyone wear jeans to a wedding? I cant even wear jeans to my office!! I think she is just being ridiculous.. I for one would just ignore her. If she brings it up again I would just be passive aggressive and say “sure wear whatever you feel is appropriate to attend your son’s wedding”

Post # 15
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

OK, I know it would be incredibly hard for me to do this in this situation, but what would be the high road might be to talk to her. Tell her FH told you she was thinking about jeans, and that you are worried she’d feel underdressed, especially since she’ll be going down the aisle. Then offer to go shopping and pick something out together.

It may be the shopping trip from hell, but at least you’ll have made an effort, and made it clear that jeans are not a good idea.

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