(Closed) MOG wearing ivory too…

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

Yes, she will be wearing ivory…but you know what! People will see her and think "What a crazy woman! She obviously has issues." After that, no one will pay attention to her.

Don’t let her emotional hang ups ruin your day. She’s the one that’ll look crazy. If it bothers you too much have your Fiance talk to her gently. 

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Who does that? In my opinion, it’s totally unacceptable. I don’t care what the etiquette is – she shouldn’t be wearing some slinky, off white number to your wedding. Is it too late to throw a fit and make her switch dresses?

Post # 5
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I have actually been to a few weddings where the MOG and MOB wore off-white dresses – it was done on purpose. I get not loving the idea, but do you really want to make a big deal out of this?  I don’t really think it should be that big of a deal, no one will confuse her for you!

Post # 7
Member
7 posts
Newbee

If this bothers you, don’t "throw a fit"… maybe just say something to her.

If your Future Mother-In-Law is showing you her dress she probably wants some reaction/input about it, so just be reasonable with her and say you feel like it’s pretty close to the color of your dress. But if she doesn’t change it – or she can’t return it – just drop it. Like Janna says, nobody will confuse the two of you.

 

Post # 8
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Perhaps I got too liberal with my terminology. I take back the "throw a fit" part. Being reasonable with her is best…less drama.

But I still don’t think MOG has any business wearing a dress like how you’ve described.

Post # 9
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I agree that this is tacky.  But, I think that your long-term happiness will probably be affected more by your relationship with your FMIL than what she wore to the wedding.  So, it might not be worth getting too angry with her over.  Maybe you could suggest a dark bolero and sash to go with the gown…

Post # 10
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

It might go over better if your Fiance says something to her…

Post # 11
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

I definitely would be furious if my mother or MOG wore anything white, off white, champagne, cream, ivory, mother of pearl, ecru, beige, or ANYTHING even close to any of those colors to my wedding.  I don’t think it’s old school at all- it’s just asking people to let you be the focus for ONE day. 

 

One way to look at it is that she’ll definitely be getting attention.  BUT- you can know that the attention she’ll be getting will be entirely negative.

Post # 12
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Oh, I’d be so mad.  But V has a great point.  I just saw a wedding photo where the bridesmaids picked their own gowns for a black tie affair and one of the girls wore white!  I told my friend – "what’s wrong with that girl, that’s so rude!" and she said everyone at the wedding said the same thing.  Clearly the bride let her wear it, but it definitely didn’t get any added attention except disdain. 

If it were me though, I’d probably be passive/agressive and say something like "wow!  You chose Ivory?" and kind of look really puzzled about the whole thing in order to get across the message that it’s not right.  But it probably wouldn’t work.  Ah, the story of my life…  😉

Post # 13
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

Yyeeahhh…….I have the same thing going on.  My MOG said one of her dress options is champagne and I thought….oh god no.  My sister in law’s MOG did this too and I thought it was sooooo tacky.  But apparently people actually don’t think this is a rule anymore….I don’t know where they get their info from, but whatever.  However, I outright REFUSE to be accused of being a bridezilla, so I’m just letting it go.  I kinda hinted by asking how much different her dress will be from mine because mine is ivory to begin with, and i’m hoping she got the point.  If she didn’t though, oh well.  If she wears something inappropriate, others will notice, and I won’t have to.

Post # 14
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009 - Cathedral of the Sacred Heart & The Jefferson Hotel

my soon to be sister in law had this done to her by her Mother-In-Law. I say done to her because her Mother-In-Law got quite tipsy durring the rehersal and starting telling people how she wished it was her wedding again and wanted to wear ivory to feel like a bride again.. yeah…

I’m going to agree with V though, everyone, including people who had not heard of her rehersal shananagins, thought she was just nuts. Rules or no rules, I would be very upset if I were in your place. My Future Sister-In-Law never said a thing about it to her Mother-In-Law, but was very upset as well. I would definately be speaking up. Have you said anything to her?

Post # 15
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

If it were me, I would convince my dude to play the unknowing groom. I’d ask him to be all like "That’s a pretty dress, mom… but I thought people weren’t supposed to wear white to weddings" At least put the idea in her head.

Post # 16
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

 All differing opinions of whether or not white or any deviated shade thereof aside is appropriate to wear to a wedding, I personally would not want my Future Mother-In-Law to be looked at by other guests as "nuts" or "crazy." Besides that, I wouldn’t want that forever captured in my pictures! Even if you don’t have a great relationship with her, she is the love of your life’s mother and for that reason alone, I would not want her to look "silly" just because she doesn’t get it. You want things to go off smoothly and if everyone is snickering about her and her outfit, I would feel very bad, especially if she notices and then feels awkward.

Now, yes, she may be doing this for attention and only you know if she would do that to you and your hubby-to-be. If that is the case, I agree that it would be best to have your fiance approach her as the "unknowing groom."

Good luck to you!

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