- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
My best friend asked me to be the Matron of Honor at her wedding. Her Maid of Honor will be her sister, but she’s pretty young, so the other maids and I are planning everything.
I’m also 17 weeks pregnant, and will be around 8 months along by the time her November wedding rolls around.
So, a childhood friend of ours that has betrayed trust and hurt us both over and over was not invited to my wedding and was not going to be invited to hers either. Which I was super relieved to hear, since the last time we were all together, she was snickering and talking really negatively about my husband and family to our mutual friends. (Of course, after the brunch, they all came to tell me..) I wish I had never known, because it brought me to my breaking point with her, and the friendship is just destroyed. She had a rough childhood and I’ve always been the one to tell everyone else that she “just has poor coping strategies, we need to be there for her” “give her another chance” “don’t be so hard on her”. Etc Etc.
This girl is really opportunistic and craves attention, and whenever someone is going through something, she clings to them and draws the attention to herself. Example: we have 2 mutual acquaintances both diagnosed with cancer. When the diagnosis came, she was there.. sending emails, starting fundraisers, etc etc.. Meanwhile posting pictures of herself doing all of these things.. and then once the newness and attention faded she was on to the next opportunity. It hasn’t just been these two, it’s been people’s sick parents, weddings, babies.. Including mine. She was there all the time when my son was born and after 2 weeks of taking tons of pictures of herself with my son, she pretty much disappeared for 2 years. I had pretty much become useless to her since I couldn’t go out partying anymore. I would invite her over, or ask her to meet me for lunch.. and she would always make up some lame excuse. It was really really hurtful.
My friend and I knew and teased that she would come around and try to get invited to the weddings and get involved in all the parties, and sure enough.. she did.
Well, I could strangle my friend, because she bit.. and told me today not only is she coming to the wedding, but she is going to be a part of the “house party” now.. passing out programs and helping with whatever.
I’m livid, and hurt.. and I really really can’t be around this girl. I don’t know how much of what I’m feeling is compounded by hormones.. but I’m feeling like our friendship is devalued, and she’s somehow betrayed me. I mean, we’re supposed to be best friends, my son is her ring bearer. Shouldn’t she have enough respect for me and my family, and my feelings not to bring someone who has been so toxic to our lives back into them? I know her wedding day isn’t about me. And I could suck it up if she was invited and I only had to deal with her one day.. but now she’s going to be helping with the showers and the bachelorette dinner.. both pretty small events where she will without a doubt bring tons of drama and conflict that I just don’t need in my life.
I really don’t want to stand by and smile and watch as this girl takes advantage of the situation.. knowing she is going to hurt my best friend a few days later. And am I supposed to console my bf when she tells everyone “the food was cheap” or “the wedding was trashy” or “her dress was awful” or “I just went for the open bar” or whatever hurtful thing it will be this time around???
I can’t really say.. “I’m not going if she’s there”. Can I?
It will seriously take everything I have not to stab her in the throat with my shoe and call her a fat whore. Okay, to be honest, I will probably bite my tongue and cry when I get home.. but I will be thinking it ALL NIGHT LONG!