Post # 1
Ok, I really need some advice! I found out recently that my maid of honor (who is also my best friend) and our best man (her boyfriend and the fiancee’s stepbrother/friend) are probably going to get engaged at our wedding!
I don’t know where to start with this. I’m really unhappy about it because I feel like this is tacky and "stealing my thunder." I’m trying not to be a bridezilla about this, but I’m really bothered.
I want them to get engaged because they are perfect for each other and I know they love each other, but I don’t want it to be on the day that I’ve been planning out to be perfect for over a year. Sigh.
Have you ever heard of something like this before? Am I wrong for being upset?
Post # 3
I would confront the best man directly and tell him exactly how you feel. If you cannot … have your fiance do it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club
Hmmm, I could see why you’d be upset…it is your special day, and that would totally take away from it! Personally, I know that if I were you, I would be upset…not because I wouldn’t want my friends to get engaged, but because I am such an attention whore sometimes and I would hate the spotlight to be off of me on my one special day! This is a day about you and your Fiance, not about them! Sorry for being harsh, but I’d be perturbed…
Post # 5
I can see why you’d be upset , I also think it’s a good idea to tell the best man your feelings. Politely let him know that you want your day , just a day! I don’t think thats too much to ask for.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
I kno I’m going to be in the minority here but I actually have secret dreams of my Maid/Matron of Honor getting engaged at our wedding, which could totally happen, she has a serious boyfriend and they probably will get engaged at some point in 2010….I get all happy whenever I picture it since I just think it would make my wedding that much more special and an even better day! But to plan it without asking first is kind of rude….
Post # 7
definitely definitely definitely say something to the best man. have your fiance do it though. maybe he could phrase it as "ive been there dude; it’s a big deal and an awesome event, but it should be a special moment between the two of you, not a spectacle at IUBrides and my big day." maybe make him realize a) not appropriate to steal your thunder and b) itll be more special if he waits for another time. if they are good friends they will totally understand, especially since you’ve already said how perfect they are for each other and how truly happy you’ll be when they do get engaged!
Post # 8
I personally would LOVE my bff and son’s godmother to get engaged at my wedding. I’d love that. She’s a wodnerful person and she’s been dating this great guy for five years now and imho it’s about time. I am seriously considering pelting her with the bouquet and staging it so she and only she can get it.
I would be the happiest girl ever to have my guy become my husband and on that same day share the love of a forever love with my bff and her guy too!
NOBODY can steal the thunder of a bride and groom at all. That day is YOURS! Nobody can. How about having it happen right before you two leave at the end? That way it’s a super romantic ending to a perfect wedding and definitely on a high note?
just remember, he wants it to be a day (the best man) that his honey and her bff will remember forever.
Think about 10 years in the future and how special it will be when your kids are running around and you and your best friends are all together at an ourdoor bbq. You will both recount with fondness that wonderful and unforgettable wedding you had, and how beautiful you were and how great it was, and how her honey at the end of everything, asked for her hand in marriage. Aw. It sounds so sweet to me!
Post # 9
Nuh uh. I would bring it up with him. Hopefully he will understand. I’m not a bridezilla, but I would probably turn into one if that happened at my wedding.
Post # 10
I agree with you… as much as I love my Maid/Matron of Honor (who is my sister) I would kill her boyfriend if he proposed at the wedding!! That’s just… everyone gets their day, and they should respect how you feel–so you should definitely make your feelings known!
That said, bellenga’s side is also very lovely. I just… personally, I know I could not do that to someone else because I don’t want to steal anyone else’s thunder on their wedding day. Good luck!!! I hope speaking to him goes well.
Post # 11
I also think its sort of tacky… why couldn’t he do it later that night, when the reception is over?? I would just talk to him about it…im sure he would understand..
Post # 12
If it would really upset you, then you should definitely ask your fiance to say something. You deserve to be 100% happy with everything that happens that day!
Post # 13
It would be completely tacky. A proposal happening at my wedding would be my worst nightmare, honestly! Tell the Bridesmaid or Best Man how you feel.
Post # 14
TACKY TACKY TACKY.
Surely, your Fiance can convince his best man to propose either a) in a public location where THEIR family/friends will be there (not yours…shoot, your momma don’t care if they get engaged!) or b) something PRIVATE.
Make sure your Fiance tells them that this is inappropriate and will be viewed poorly by the rest of your guests. I mean, it’s not going to be stealing your thunder because everyone will think it’s such a hoosier thing to do.
Shoot, give me his phone number, I’ll call him myself. You just don’t do that. YOUR wedding has nothing to do with them. You’re not being bridezilla, they’re being space invaders. You don’t walk in on them and go "oo me too!" in regards to anything else now, do you?
Take solace in that if it happens, it’s in poor taste and reflects oh so badly on them.
Post # 15
i agree, ask your fiance to talk to his best man/step-brother, i am sure that he would understand how you feel. I am sure if it’s your best friends they would totally understand and not want to do anything to take away from you & your fiance’s day. maybe you could help him plan something, like make sure that she catches the boquet and then later that night (back in the privacy of their hotel room) or the next morning he could pop the question.
Post # 16
I agree that it is tacky, and would hate for this to happen at my wedding! Isn’t there a more romantic place to get married, anyway? My engagement wasn’t necessarily in private, but I would’ve been horrified if he "stopped" a wedding to propose! Maybe you or your FH could suggest a better way to propose?