Post # 1
I’m in quite a pickle with this one:
Both my FH and I are unable to have the person we would like to be our Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man. Neither one of us have “close friends” just many acquaintances. That’s a tragic side effect of being slf employed and in the entertainment business.
I had to chose an alternate because my best friend lives too far away. I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, but she said she didn’t think she could be here enough to help me out with planning and all that, which I respect whereas she has 4 children and a job. Being a Maid/Matron of Honor does require some commitment, I inderstand that, so I chose my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor instead.
My FH wants to chose my dad as his Best, but knows it would absolutely crush his father’s feelings. So he ended up chosing a buddy of his. This rips my heart in two because I know it’s the truth and he has told me on several occasions that my dad is more of a dad to him than his own.
We’ve discussed this several times, and feel that it’s just a lie to call them our Best Man and Maid of Honor, because it’s not what we truly feel.
So I was wondering if anyon might have any ideas for alternative titles. We have considered “Bride’s Partner in Crime” and “Groom’s Partner in Crime”. But we’re just both at a loss. Any ideas?
Post # 3
they can just be listed as attendents?
Post # 4
I thought about that, but there should be some sort of distinction I think. They do hav a bit more responsibility on that day, and leading up to. I think my sister might be hurt if she thought she was considered in the same way as my cousin or my boss.
Post # 5
I feel like it will be hurtful to them if you come up with alternate titles… How would you explain that to them, anyway? I don’t think there is really any non-hurtful way to tell them that the traditional titles of Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man don’t feel true to you…
I don’t really see how it’s a lie to call them by the traditional titles since they are fulfilling those roles for you wedding. The titles aren’t “Best Friend Forever” or “Greatest Person I’ve Ever Met”; it’s Maid of Honor and Best Man. And that is what they are for the purpose of your wedding.
Post # 6
It’s already a very non-trad wedding, that’s how we are. For pete’s sake, I’m walking down the aisle to the duet of Metallica and Bif Naked’s “Nothing Else Matters” and being given away by my son. We have a celebrity, which I can’t name, due to contractual agreements, Skyping in to play the role of officiant, and a real minister to sign the paperwork.
We’ve decided to skip the bridesmaid and groomsmen titles for Brides Chicka’s and Groom’e Entourage.
It’s just really really hard to want to please everyone, when that’s what you do all the time, work/social/family, and you really want to be somewhat selfish on one particular day.
Ugggh, what a mess. Mebbe I should chuck it all and just go with traditional. Just eat my ideals and do what my momma says.
Post # 7
@jojabri: Oh, well in that case, why don’t you do “Bride’s Main Chica” and “Groom’s Main Man” or something like that?