(Closed) MOH and BM – secret cousins? Advice needed

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?
    Stay out of it completely. : (5 votes)
    21 %
    Tell both girls that you are staying out of it, even though you are directly in the middle. : (2 votes)
    8 %
    Tell MOH L that BM T told you she found out about the family relationship. : (9 votes)
    38 %
    Tell BM T to talk to MOH L. : (8 votes)
    33 %
    Other - explain below. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 4
    5889 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    this is beyond bizarre lol.  i think for the most part, keep yourself out of this.  i might tell Maid/Matron of Honor that Bridesmaid or Best Man just found out, or tell Bridesmaid or Best Man to talk to Maid/Matron of Honor (just because i wouldn’t be able to help myself), but beyond that, just emphasize that they need to work things out, but they also need to do this on their own.  you have enough to worry about without secret cousin issues!

    Post # 5
    7295 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    i think you should tell them to talk to each other. i wouldnt get too involved because then it adds to the drama of who said what and when.

    Post # 6
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I kind of think you should let it slip to Maid/Matron of Honor L that Bridesmaid or Best Man T just found out the information she thought she knew, since that seems to be the reason your Maid/Matron of Honor has such dislike for Bridesmaid or Best Man T. I know that may not be the most popular advice and most people probably think you should “stay out of it” but I can understand why you wouldn’t want to, as your clearly close to both of these girls. It’s obviously a misunderstanding on your MOH’s part which created this rift in the first place. I think you’re right that your Maid/Matron of Honor may not be receptive to talking to your Bridesmaid or Best Man without you at least letting her know that something she believed isn’t necesarily true. Just my thoughts though.

    Post # 7
    1767 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think you should tell her that the other one JUST found out about it, and emphasize that there are obviously some major communication issues going on. Tell them to talk to each other, and refuse to get any more involved than bridging that first peice of information.

    Hopefully they can work everything out, for your sake if nothing else.

    Post # 10
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If it’s a constant issue with Maid/Matron of Honor, I’d do as the others have mentioned and let her know that Bridesmaid or Best Man T just found out about this, and also that you’d appreciate it if they would communicate with each other about it rather than putting you in the middle. A simple explanation that you’re good friends with both of them and that seeing them hurt over this issue (and hurting each other) is not something you’d like to be in the middle of out of love for both of them. Hopefully they’ll buck up and talk to one another, and stop throwing out all sorts of snide comments for you to deal with. 

    The topic ‘MOH and BM – secret cousins? Advice needed’ is closed to new replies.

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