(Closed) MOH and BMs can’t agree on a bachelorette trip (LONG)

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If it’s that much of a trouble for these guys to plan a trip, would you be upset if you just had a night out or a weekend out in the city?  It’s easier on them for planning and you’ll have less to worry about for yourself.

Post # 6
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

And if you do have your heart set on a trip, then I’m afraid you may have to just step up and tell them exactly when you want to go and where you want to go to help them along, it sounds like, jus tto get everyone on the same page

Post # 7
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Maybe a trip is too much for some/everyone?  If I were Maid/Matron of Honor, I may be delaying instead of admitting that I couldn’t afford it :/  I would maybe scale down your party wishes a little bit to just a night out or an overnight trip.

Post # 9
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@superh2ogirl:  I don’t think it matters if they knew, I personally would not want to spend a lot of money on a bachelorette weekend/trip.

I think you maybe just need to re-group. Get the girls together for dinner or lunch and let them know what you would like, that way it’s all out in the open in front of everyone.

Your wedding, like mine, is in September, there’s still plenty of time to figure it out and plan everything. I get that it may take a bit of time to get everyone to agree but really it shouldn’t take longer than a few hours or research.

Post # 11
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Or perhaps the issues stem from the fact that one or the other can’t afford the cruise and doesn’t know how to tell you, so she’s delaying planning it.  Just a thought.

Regardless, i think you should stay out of it.  Tell them you’re ok with a night out in your city or surrounding area, and let them handle it.  Their issues should remain between the two of them, there is no reason for you to have to get involved.

Post # 12
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wowza, scale down to an overnight or even a night out. 

At first you stated you stated that you “really wanted a cruise to Mexiso…”

Then…you said you were ok with a smaller scale event. But then…in a subsequent post you admitted that it would bother you. You admitted that if “they decide not to do a trip, I’ll be disappointed…”

First off, get honest with yourself, will it bug you, or not?? You seem confused about that.

Second of all, I’m counting, A Maid/Matron of Honor (friend), 2 BMs (sisters) and you then talked about “other friends”, I’m going to be rational and assume there are only 2 since that is the mimium for the use of a plural noun.

Would you be willing to shell out for a CRUISE everytime one of them got engaged? That is 6 cruises, 6 girls-only cruises using up time you could be spending with your SO. I’m not just talking money, I’m talking about precious, precious vacation time. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m now working full time and vacations are hard to come by, not to mention finances. Maybe consider that at least a couple of your attendants may all want to get married in the next 3 yrs, thats AT LEAST 2 or 3 more cruises at the minimum. That is if they deserve the same style bachelorette as you do?

I think the hesitation is self-explanatory. Sorry to be blunt, I want you to be happy. You deserve a beautiful wedding, a perfect day & a fabulous honeymoon but to be “disappointed” b/c your bachelorette party is not a mexican cruise? Sweetie, you wanted our opinion and I’m sure that you have dreamed of these events your whole life, but that sounds kind of selfish.

Post # 14
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I personally think that if you want to do something specific (and if it’s reasonable for your girls), you should just step up, do some research, send out an email with some options to everyone, and get the girls excited about it. Once they see that you’re excited about something, they will more likely want to get involved in the planning. That way you are involved and can help in the decision making and can move things along when needed versus just waiting for someone to suggest/do something.

I’m doing a bachelorette trip/girls weekend as well. At this point, 3 of my 4 girls have confirmed and we are going to open it up to a bunch of other friends as well. The fourth Bridesmaid or Best Man cannot make it due to health and financial reasons, but I’m going to spend some one-on-one time with her before the wedding.


Post # 16
1 posts

I say go small scale. It’s obvious by your post that you care a lot about these people so why not enjoy those relationships and avoid all the additional drama that is sure to come if you still plan a trip. My friends and I did a spa day but mostly because I am a picky bride. I decided to avoid tha drama you were talking about and prep for the wedding day with our bachelorette party. I have always wanted laser hair removal for my underarms so we visited a medical spa in the area and I had my underarms and bikini line done in time for the wedding and honeymoon. It was a great way to treat myself to something I have always wanted to do but have a good time doing it with my friends (without the drama). And my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning her wedding and wants to do the same thing – goes to show how much fun it was. And for ours we had a little menu my friends could choose from – which included food and drinks, services, and beauty products. You can see a list of possible services here (http://www.jdvmedspa.com/med-spa-services )  -this was the spa we visited.

This will be a special memory for you – avoid the drama and look into something small scale like a spa day. Hope this helps and remember relationships mean more than anything.

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