(Closed) MoH and ex bf

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs.Vowrenewal:Ummm. Yeah. I wouldn’t want an ex-stalker type who ended on bad terms at my wedding.

Just sayin’

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

If they are an established serious couple, then it would be inappropriate to not invite him.

Post # 5
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

@Mrs.Vowrenewal: Yeah…that’s weird. Also what kind of friend dates their friend’s ex bf/ex STALKER? And she’s your MOH? Uh uh.

Post # 6
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldn’t say anything at this point.  As your Maid/Matron of Honor I am guessing she knows how you feel about him.  You have til the end of the year until you send out invites.  I would just wait and see if they are still together and how you feel about their relationship at that time.  Try to be opened minded and patiently wait.

Post # 7
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Are any exes invited? If not then just tell your Maid/Matron of Honor that you and Fiance decided that y’all would prefer not to have any exes at the wedding (by default that includes her now bf). I think that’s a reasonable request. How long have they been together? Unless it’s really serious, I wouldn’t even give it a second thought as to whether or not he should come.

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@noritake22:

I think this situation will allow a breach in etiquette.

This guy obvioulsy has issues and I would be worried about your Maid/Matron of Honor in the future should she leave him.

However, he does NOT need to come to your wedding. It is a day of happiness for your husband and you. Why invite someone who has given you issues in the past??

Post # 10
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

What I’m wondering is, have you talked to your Maid/Matron of Honor about dating your ex? What are her reasons? Has he changed a good bit, aka not a stalker anymore? That would probably influence my decision to invite him or not. I probably wouldn’t want him around at all, but if my best friend was dating him then I feel like something must have changed… or she may not be such a good friend anymore. I dunno, it’s such a hard situation in general! My gut reaction is to just go ahead and invite him (because she likes him enough to date him despite him being your ex-stalker boyfriend).

Post # 11
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yeah no. no invite.

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Agree with inviting him if it’s an established relationship. He’s with her becasue he loves her right? Not because he wants to attend and destroy your wedding.

Post # 13
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m not prying, but you should consider:
 

How long ago were you dating him?

How long did you date him?

How long did he stalk you?

How long after you broke up did he start dating her?

Does she know about the stalking?

How long have they been dating at this point?

Has she been dating him longer than you dated him?

How long will they have been dating come your wedding?

 

These are all questions that should be considered before you decide.

Also, if you’re allowing plus ones, you have to allow her one.

 

Post # 14
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Uh, no. I don’t care who he is dating now. No way in hell would I have a stalker ex at my wedding. No, no, no.

What does your Fiance say? My Fiance is very open to exes who are friends being there but he would defnitely NOT be cool with that. Stalking is illegal, not to mention mega creepy.

Post # 15
Member
2426 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would consider the relationship with your Maid/Matron of Honor.  How will not inviting her Boyfriend or Best Friend affect your relationship?  If this guy is an important part of her life, there’s a chance she’ll be seriously offended if you don’t invite him, with her being the Maid/Matron of Honor.  Who knows though…maybe just sit down and have a heart to heart with her 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

How long have they already been dating? 

If this was me, I would just wait and see if their relationship lasts until later this year when you have to send out the invitations.  Who knows, they may break up in three weeks, and then you won’t even have think about it.

I say cross that bridge when it happens!

 

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