(Closed) MOH and I had a major falling out. Now what?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 45
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

God, the more you update, the sorrier I feel for your sister. On the one hand, I sincerely hope that this is just you acting badly because of wedding stress. I really, really do. However, I’m afraid that this horrendously entitled behavior of yours isn’t something that just appears. In the case of the latter, I hope your poor sister flees from your toxicity until you’ve had a chance to grow up and get over yourself.

“Her boyfriend was on a business trip that weekend so unless she told him what I said I didn’t “ruin” it. a lot of people on here had proposals that were not surprises.”

Do you seriously not get how terrible what you did is?

You seem like the type of person who can only see things from a “ME ME ME” perspective so imagine how sad you’d feel if someone had ruined YOUR proposal for you. Imagine how upset you’d be if your sister had said to you in the middle of a party, “Hey, I don’t think you and your boyfriend are good together but I guess I have to suck it up since he’s going to ask you to marry you. Oh, didn’t you know?”

Yes, SOME people discuss their engagements in length prior to the proposal but many more don’t and most women – even if the IDEA of being engaged has been discussed – still WANT to be surprised that the guy is actually going to do it. You ruined something special for your sister to serve your need to be the only one getting attention.

Post # 46
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Whitetail Ridge

Apologize in person. But actually apologize. Don’t justify what you did. You ruined what would have been one of the biggest surprises in her life and are acting horribly childish and bratty. You need to apologize without any “but this is why I did it,” or “you did this.” This is all on you and you need to fix it if you want your sister to be a part of your wedding or your life.

Post # 48
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I don’t know the enitre back story of their relationshop but I would be very upset if my sister did this to me. I couldn’t just get over it.  yeah may be it was a bad timing but that wasn’t your sisters fault that he decided to propose when he did.  A face to face apology might work. An apology where your not defending your self. “I’m sorry for ruining your moment and kicking you of the wedding. That was uncalled for. I’m over reacting and shouldn’t be treating you like this.” “I hope you can still stand by my side on my wedding day”

Post # 50
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You sound like an insane control freak. You wanted to control her porposal (it could only happen when you thought it had been long enough, and at a time you deemed to be far enough from your wedding), and now you want to control how she feels (by getting angry that she isn’t accepting your half-ass apology).

 

Post # 51
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Whitetail Ridge

 

EDubbs:  “I think it’s easy to say I’m wrong, but what if you were in my shoes?”

I wouldn’t have ruined my sister’s surpise in the first place. My sister and I are extremely close and tell each other everything as well, but this is something you don’t mess with. Who she chooses to date or marry is none of your business, and while you are entitled to have your opinion, it is no place of yours to tell she’s rushing into marriage or spoiling the surprise of her proposal.

  • This reply was modified 5 years ago by  CEM16.
Post # 52
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

EDubbs:  If I were you, for your own sake, I’d close this thread and take 24 hours to chill out and seriously consider what bees are saying.  You sound craaaaaaazy, girl, but honestly, most of us have been there.  Wedding planning is stressful, and we all have said shit we regret.  Just, this is spiraling out of control.  I am sure you don’t want to lose your sister.  So just take a step back and try to look at this with fresh eyes.

Post # 53
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

EDubbs:  Personally, it’d probably take years for me to forgive you. You RUINED her proposal – the fact that you only have “tainted” memories in return sounds like you got off really easy. To be honest, it really does sound like she got tired of you bullying her and being a brat so she told you how she felt about the things she did for you.

If you were allowed to tell her how you felt about her proposal, she should be allowed to tell you how she felt about your parties.

If I were in your shoes, I would’ve gotten off my high horse after hearing the first “You’re in the wrong” and crawled to my sister with hat in hand and BEGGED her to forgive me.

Some people…

Post # 54
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

EDubbs:  Agree with pretty much every PP.

You owe her a HUGE apology ASAP. If my sister did that, I would have been pissed! It’s not like he proposed on your wedding day, you don’t own the time in between your proposal and wedding date. Other people have lives too.

It’s going to take her a while to move on, you did ruin a big moment in her life and that’ll take time to get over. It’s not fair that you’re mad at her for not getting over it as fast as you think she should either.

Post # 55
Member
3225 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

EDubbs:  She didn’t do an eye for an eye, she stated a valid, true point that she has supported you through this process and you are still selfish enough to ruin hers before it’s even begun. 

Post # 56
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

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Post # 57
Member
1142 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

EDubbs:  I’m sorry, your friends are either lying because they are scared of how crazy you are or they are as crazy and selfish as you.

 

if I were in your shoes? Well, I wouldnt have ever told my sister I was “heartbroken” by her engagement because her Fiance didn’t have to wait 5 years to figure out he wanted to be with her forever. I would have let that be her business. She “went for the jugular” and “tainted your wedding”?? Sorry, you are just desperately grasping as straws for reasons to blame her when you are CLEARLY the only one who did any throat shredding that day. I feel very sorry for you, only in that you have some serious issues and you are in so much denial about them.

 

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 58
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I sincerely hope your friends are only agreeing with you because they do not want you to bring down your bridezilla wrath on them as well. 

And for fucks sake, your sister didn’t taint anything for you.  Newsflash, no one really enjoys spending thousands of dollars to be part of another person’s wedding.  But we suck it up and do it because we love that person and want to support their marriage.  Your attempts at trying to paint your sister as a quilty party in this situation is only making you look worse.

Post # 59
Member
500 posts
Busy bee

Wow. You do not get the decide whether or not someone’s proposal is a surprise. Who cares if other couples do not have surprise engagments? How is that at all relevant???

I honestly cannot understand how you do not see who the victim is here. All I got out of your most recent post was shock by learning that you actually have friends.

The topic ‘MOH and I had a major falling out. Now what?’ is closed to new replies.

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