- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
Im feeling really down and I need some advice.
My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor, but it wasnt really by choice. We are only 14 months apart (shes 20 and Im 21) but we are complete opposites. We always fought as kids and then growing up we didnt really ever have that sisterly bond that others may have. The main reason is her maturity level. I have always been much more mature for my age and she has been significantly behind. Shes conniving and spiteful and to be quite frank, shes a bitch.
I know deep down she isnt worthy to have that Maid/Matron of Honor title but Im doing it to pacify my mom and grandma. I thought maybe if I make her my Maid/Matron of Honor she might gain interest in the wedding and might actually be a supportive sister. She has never been supportive of Fiance and I’s engagement and flat out told us that she thinks its a joke because I was 19 and he was 27 (we have an 8yr age gap) when we got engaged. Keep in mind, my Fiance had my parents blessing and they knew I was ready for the responsibility of being a wife as I had a good job, my own car, and bought ny first place and rented it out. Otherwise they would have flat out said no if I wasnt ready.
I have been engaged now since 2011 and we are right in the midst of all the wedding business and my sister is disinterested. I try to get her involved, and ask for her opinion on things but she has a piss poor attitude. My youngest sister (who is 15) though is all up in the planning, helping me every step of the way. It bothers me because I get the feeling that my sister is bitter because she often makes snide comments about the wedding (before she made snide comments about the engagement)
Anyways, today my mother and I were talking about my shower and she asked my sister what she was planning on getting me to which she replied with, “I have a part time job and I go to school and I have other priorities so this wedding is not on my radar.”
This floored me. First of all, she DOESNT go to school. She flunked out of first semester of college. Yes, she has a part time job and thats cool. Im not asking for any gifts as Im grateful with whatever I receive. What shocked me was how she said she has other priorities. The only priority she would have is her bf. He has no job so shes always footing the bill for them and always giving him cash. This really bothers me because Im supposed to be her own sister yet my wedding isnt on her radar. Oh, but supporting your bf is a priority? Yeah Im freakin bitter!!! My mom even was taken aback by the comment but this made me think a lot. For my sister, I dont care if we arent bffs, but if shes getting married, I will do whatever I could to help her whether it be offering my opinion or showering her with gifts for her day. Like I said, I dont care about the gifts.. Its the comment she made that really hurt. All I want is her support. Show an interest. I was secretly hoping this wedding would bring us closer.
What do I do? Talking to her is a very difficult task as she often snaps and walks away. We’re all afraid to say stuff to her because of her temper. We all walk on egg shells around her. I really feel deep down in my heart that I will regret not having my youngest sis or even my bff to be my Maid/Matron of Honor
– sister is my moh yet thinks my engagement is a joke, my wedding isnt on her “radar”, her personality is best described as bitch, dont want her as moh, what do I do?