(Closed) MOH (and sister) isnt as supportive as I'd like.. Long Story!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2249 posts
Buzzing bee

She’s acting how she’s always acted. Her behavior has been aggravated by the engagement and wedding, but other than that she’s the same. 

I understand that you were hoping that your wedding would bring the two of together, but it isn’t, so I think it’s time to remove her from the position. It is making things harder for you, and she doesn’t seem to be interested. She probably shouldn’t be Maid/Matron of Honor even if she does want to be because she’s behaving terribly.

Your mother and grandmother may have to just get over this. She shouldn’t be allowed to act this way and stay in the wedding. It doesn’t do anyone any good. If you remove her from the wedding party and she makes a big fuss, just let her. Don’t let it sway you, don’t let your mom and grandmother guilt you into taking her back; if you kick her out, she stays out. 

I doubt talking to her will change anything, but it might be a good thing to do as a last-ditch effort before removing her from the Maid/Matron of Honor position. 

Post # 4
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Rhopalocera:  +1

Don’t set yourself up to be miserable.  

Post # 5
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsBark:  Remove her from the Maid/Matron of Honor position.  Give it to your younger sister or BFF.  If your mom or Gma have a problem with it, tell them that YOU have a problem with a having her as a Maid/Matron of Honor due to HER behavior.  


This sort of spiteful drama is NOT WORTH it. She’s already ruining your excitement and happiness about the wedding,  and you need people who are supportive around you, plain and simple.   


I would call your sister and tell her that based on her comment to you and your mom the other day, as well as past behavior and disinterest, that she is removed from the Maid/Matron of Honor position because you need someone to really support you and the marriage in that role.  Its up to you to decide if you want to keep her in the wedding party at all. Maybe you can find another way to include your sister, such as doing a reading at the wedding.  

Post # 6
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MsBark:  could you switch your younger sister to the Maid/Matron of Honor position without causing extra drama?

Post # 8
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MsBark:  Could you ask your little sister to be an Maid/Matron of Honor as well? Then you could keep her paired with who she is, and still give her the honor (since she’s being so supportive anyway). 


I’m contemplating adding a second Maid/Matron of Honor because my Future Sister-In-Law has pretty much stepped up (like I thought she would) and it’s killing me that my Maid/Matron of Honor sucks (only & older sister who is a b*tch) and she’s being awesome, and I don’t think its fair that she does all the work. I want to honor her because I love her. 

Post # 9
25 posts

I am in the EXACT same situation. Reading your post made me feel like I was reading something I wrote myself! haha… I don’t think you should take away her Maid/Matron of Honor title because this will only cause more drama and stress for you. 

I have two bridesmaids who have really stepped up to the plate and planned my bachelorette and bridal shower since my sister isn’t doing anything. Even if your sister isn’t being supportive I’m sure you have other friends and family who are (I hope) and that’s what really matters. 

Try to ignore her negative attitude and focus on the positive people around you that are there for you and support your engagement. It sounds like issues between you two really have nothing to do with the wedding and go way beyond that (same for me). That being said, trying to solve that bigger issue in the midst of planning a wedding is just too much to handle. 

Goodluck! I hope you feel a little better at least knowing someone else is in your shoes! 🙂

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